Trouble at Home | Dana C. Baldwin

Introduction

A. When we hear the word “home,” images of warmth, love, fun, and care come to mind. Or at least that is the image we want to have. The truth is not all homes are created equal. Some homes are disjointed. The people who live in the home are more strangers than family. They go in separate directions with no real connection to each other. Some homes are enmeshed. The people who live in the home are too close. One of them sneezes and three hands rush to wipe the nose. There isn’t enough separation. Every home is different. And this lesson tonight is not really about family except as the principle is involved. We reap what we sow.

B. This is very true in the home. We reap what we sow. Sometimes we try to sow seeds of kindness and our children reject such, and sometimes we sow the seeds of disinterest and still have children who grow up to be loving people. But generally what we do in the home finds its way into the hearts and minds of our children and we see it grow and bring forth fruit. Generally speaking—an abusive family produces the fruit of abuse in the next generation. An absent parent sows the seed of disinterest in the children. An angry parent sows the seed of anger in the next generation. You get the idea. While this is not a guarantee, it is a reality more than not.

C. David sowed the seeds of adultery, murder, and deception. God told David in 12:10–11 that the sword would never leave his family and that calamity would come upon his house. David sowed the seeds now the harvest comes in chapters 13–18. This is the main point of tonight. We reap what we sow.

I. Amnon, Tamar, and Absalom

A. David has numerous wives and children. It was not uncommon for children of royalty to be raised separately. Each wife would have her own quarters and the children would be raised separately. While they would know one another, they would not necessarily be close. This seems to be the case with our principle characters. Amnon and Tamar know each other as brother and sister but they are not necessarily close. Amnon looks at his half-sister with lust. She is a beautiful woman and he wants her for his sexual pleasure. He feigns illness to get her to his quarters and there he rapes her.

B. His lust spent, Amnon refuses to have anything to do with Tamar. She is disgraced. The Law of Moses demands death. But Amnon is the crown prince. He is David’s firstborn. Perhaps he has been raised to know that he will be the next king. Maybe he felt invincible. Maybe he believed that he was above the law. Maybe he had seen his dad act in similar ways and thought it was okay.

C. The Bible doesn’t tell us, but Amnon seems to go about his business as if nothing has happened. Enter Absalom, Tamar’s full blood brother. Absalom takes Tamar into his home and she lives as an unmarried woman for the rest of her life. Absalom begins plotting his revenge. Where is David? The Bible tells us that he was furious (13:21) but he takes no action against Amnon. We reap what we sow. David allows disgrace to come to his house and he has no answer.

D. The Bible then tells us that two years later in a fairly elaborate plot, Absalom kills Amnon. While he gets his revenge, for the next three years he is exiled in the land of Geshur. Absalom’s mother was from Geshur. Absalom goes and lives with his maternal grandfather. After the three years, Joab persuades David to allow Absalom to return to Jerusalem. While allowing Absalom to return, it is two more years before David gives the full royal treatment to Absalom. David’s firstborn is killed. Five years pass while he is estranged from another son. His daughter lives in disgrace for the rest of her life. We reap what we sow. Does this seem harsh?

II. Lessons

A. Where is David in all of this? We read he gets angry in 13:21, but he does nothing. He brings his son back from exile but refuses to treat him as a son. What is going on? Does David remember all the things that happened with Bathsheba and Uriah and is that why he doesn’t get involved? Maybe so. It is speculation. But if that is the reason, then his hands off approach is a tacit agreement with what is going on.

i. I am always amazed at the number of times in which talking with someone about problems in their lives which includes another person, I will ask what a person's response was when they spoke to them about the difficulty and the response is "I haven't spoken to them about it."

ii. Few of us like conflict. Most of us like for things to go along smoothly. We may even act as if the difficulty isn't that bad. But a difficulty doesn't go away on its own. Ignoring the problem will not solve the problem. We reap what we sow. When we sow the seed of ignoring issues we reap a harvest of agreeing with the one who is bold enough to do wrong.

iii. David ignores the problems and by his silence he opens the door for revenge and eventually conspiracy.

B. Perhaps it is my imagination, but the attitudes of Amnon and Absalom appear to be that of defiance not only of the law, but of their father. Amnon desires his sister. He rapes her even after being warned that the law will be violated. Absalom is no better. He lures Amnon into a position of trust and then literally stabs him in the back. Later Absalom burns Joab’s fields in order to get Joab to do what he wants him to do. Both men act as if they are above the law. They act as if they can do what they want without consequence. But didn’t David sow the seed of being above the law when he took Bathsheba as his wife and killed Uriah? Didn’t David demonstrate that he could act without consequence. We reap what we sow.

i. When we see ourselves as being above the rules, then we are prideful. In that pride we begin to think that we can operate by a different set of rules. One of the things which bothers me are those who park in Fire lanes, handicap places, or create their own parking spaces. It is as if that person is saying that the rules don't apply to them.

ii. When we act this way, our children see the pride in our lives. We reap what we sow. If we sow the seeds of pride and special privilege with our children, we will reap a generation which believes that they deserve more than others.

iii. How could David have been so blind to what was happening with his children? How can we be so blind to what is happening with our own children? David didn't need a course on parenting. He needed to remember the importance of tending sheep. In the same way that he tended his sheep, he needed to tend his children. In the same way we need to tend to our children. We reap what we sow.

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