Treatment of Members

The Text

Paul is trying to help Timothy understand what he is to do as the minister with the church in Ephesus. Paul has addressed a number of important principles including how Timothy is to conduct himself among the believers. Chapter 5 has a special focus on how Timothy and in essence the congregation is to treat different groups within the body. There is a special focus on widows and elders, but other groups are singled out for instructions.

In 4:12, Timothy was told not to allow the congregational members to look down on him because of his youth. While he was to function as a leader in spite of his youth, he was, however, to remember his youth and how he was to interact with different groups within the fellowship. Older men were to be treated as he would treat his own father. There might be times that Timothy might need to say something in a correcting way, but he should do so with respect. Younger men he is to treat as brothers or peers not as subordinates. Older women he is to treat as if they are his own mother. Younger women he is to treat as sisters, with love and care and not to pursue for impure reasons.

But now Paul turns to widows. The rest of the section is devoted to specific principles for assisting widows. Paul tells Timothy which widows are to receive special attention and which widows are not to be assisted. Why is Paul giving so much ink to this specific group of people? He gives as much space to this group as any group in the entire letter.

First, God has a special place in his heart for widows and orphans. As such so should his children care as much as he does. Psalm 68:5 describes God as the Father of the fatherless and protector of widows. Exodus 22:22-24 states: “You shall not mistreat any widow or fatherless child. If you do mistreat them, and they cry out to me, I will surely hear their cry.” Deuteronomy 14:28-29 says, “the end of every three years you shall bring out all the tithe of your produce in the same year and lay it up within your towns. And the Levite, because he has no portion or inheritance with you, and the sojourner, the fatherless, and the widow, who are within your towns, shall come and eat and be filled.” As you will no doubt recall, the whole situation in Acts 6 revolves around the fact that certain widows were being overlooked in the daily distribution of food.

A second reason may be more speculative. It was certainly the case that many widows were left penniless and struggled to survive. It could also be that there may be some issues surrounding the treatment or mistreatment of widows in the church at Ephesus and so Paul wants to set the record straight about what God expects.

Paul’s instructions emphasize that we are to discriminate about which widows we are going to help. Specifically, Paul says there are widows not to help and there are widows to help. This would have been a practical matter. Resources are limited. So responsibility for care must come from a variety of sources if possible not just the congregation. While he tends to intertwine both groups, we’ll carefully divide the two groups and see what Paul instructs.

First, the church at Ephesus is not to help widows who have family. Widows with children or grandchildren should be cared for by them. Family who takes care of the widow are allowed to demonstrate their faith and because they owe their parents and grandparents. It is a way for children to repay parents for what they have done for them. Additionally, even the pagans do this and failure on the part of the family to care for the widow is worse than the pagan in the world.

The church is also not to help young widows, those under the age of 60. Why? They are to remarry and be taken care of by their new husband.

The church should not help widows who live for pleasure. These are women who indulge themselves and are using what limited resources they have for their own pleasure.

Second, the church at Ephesus is to help widows who are really in need. This is obvious. There must be a financial need in order for help to be given. The church is to help widows who are older, past the age of 60. This is probably a reflection that most women past age 60 do not remarry.

The church should help widows who have demonstrated faithful to her husband. This is the phrase “a one man woman.” Interestingly, in this section the NIV translates this as “faithful to her husband,” but chose to translate the same phrase in regards to elders and deacons as “husband of but one wife.”

Finally, the church should help widows who are well known for good deeds. Her life must be exemplary in helping others, hospitality, raising her children well, and other good deeds. This would be counter to other widows who lived for their own pleasure.

Application

What’s the point? First, personal responsibility. Paul wanted people in Ephesus to take their personal and family responsibilities seriously. He didn’t want them to unload their burdens on the church and use that as an excuse to indulge their greed or materialism or selfishness. The same challenge is before us to be truly willing to do what needs to be done to look after our own families, including and especially our parents if and when that time comes, in order that the church will not be burdened with doing what we ought to be doing. We would do well to remember Paul’s declaration here—that one who does not look after his own family is worse than an unbeliever.

While Paul wanted people to take their family responsibilities seriously, he knew that even if everybody did do that, there would still be people who were not looked after because they had no blood family. But they do have a church family. And for persons such as that, the church has a very real obligation and responsibility to show the love of Christ in very real and tangible ways to those among us who are completely dependent on God and have no other place to go. This includes widows, of course, but does not stop with them. That same principle can be applied in other situations and circumstances as well. Notice in verse 4, Paul says we are to repay our parents and grandparents which would include men as well. The emphasis on widows suggests fewer resources were available.

Resources are limited. We must exercise discretion in our ministry to the Body. We may and will have to make decisions at times, set up criteria, decide who should and should not receive help in any given situation. Such things will require great wisdom, and searching of Scripture and heartfelt prayer, and even then will not be done perfectly. But they are important, and they are necessary, and they are perfectly legitimate and reasonable decisions to make. May God give us grace as we seek to apply these things in the weeks and months ahead.

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