The Tough Love of God

Introduction

The term “tough love” came from the book of the same title published in 1968. The idea of tough love is to act sternly or what is perceived as harshly with another for the short term in order to effect long term change. The coach who works his players hard in conditioning drills is using tough love in order to get his players ready for the long haul. Parents who refuse to continue to pay for a child’s drug habit are using tough love. The parent who allows their child to suffer the consequences of their behavior because doing so allows the child to grow up is using tough love.

God uses tough love as well. God allows Israel to suffer the consequences of their choices. For over 200 years he has beckoned for them to return to him. For over 200 years, God sent prophets to correct and to warn. God sent enemies to punish. Israel didn’t change. God sent times of prosperity and relative ease. Israel didn’t change. For over 200 years, God patiently waited for Israel to repent and they did not. Now through the prophet Hosea, God is going to punish his people. God’s patience has ended.

Hosea prophesies for approximately 40 years in Israel. At God’s command, Hosea marries a woman who is a prostitute. He is to love her and have children with her. Hosea’s life is to be a representation in physical form of the spiritual realities of the relationship between God and Israel. The children’s names reflect God’s intent—Jezreel, signifies the place of punishment representing the dynasty of the king; No Mercy signifies that God is going to act without mercy; Not My People signifies God’s rejection. Today we are going to take a look at God’s tough love. We will look at Israel’s reaction to God’s tough love and we will apply Israel’s reaction to our own experiences. This is not necessarily an easy lesson to hear, but we need to be reminded that God loves us so much that he allows us to experience the consequence of our sin.

Accusations

This text begins with a set of accusations against Hosea’s wife. The initial accusations are brought by her children who expose their mother for her sin. But then the accusations change and these come from God about Israel. The point is as Gomer has shown unfaithfulness and dishonored her family by her return to prostitution so Israel has dishonored God with their pursuit of other lovers—nations and gods.

In graphic detail, Hosea through the children speaks of Gomer’s sin. Her sin has resulted in a breaking of the marriage covenant. Do not think that Hosea has divorced his wife. But the covenant is broken. They are no longer living together as husband and wife. There is a willingness to allow Gomer to return but changes have to take place. She has to take off the makeup and clothes of the prostitute. Absent repentance, Hosea makes a promise. He will strip her naked and leave her exposed to the elements. Again, this is not literal but it is a graphic image of tough love. Nakedness is a sign of shame. Genesis 2:25—naked and not ashamed but when sin comes then in 3:7 there is shame at being naked. Hosea will expose her to shame and dishonor.

Do you think this is unfair? Ungodly? Judgmental? Do you think he should tell his wife to go ahead and continue her chosen life and he will support her? Do you think it is more loving to allow her to come home in the early morning hours to sleep in their bed? Gomer’s reply is seen through her actions. She pursues her lovers in order to pay for all the things that she needs—food, clothing, and comforts. All things she could have as a wife and mother without having to be a prostitute. But she is determined to gain those things her way rather than in covenant.

Look at verses 6 & 7. We begin to see the blending of the metaphor between the physical and the spiritual. While the hedge more than likely applies to God’s restriction against Israel, the idea of a restriction against Gomer can also be seen. We can imagine Hosea trying to restrict Gomer’s pursuit of her lovers. We can imagine Hosea trying to keep men away from her but refusing to allow her to come home because there is no repentance or remorse. We can see him cutting off support. This is seen in verse 7. After a time of economic downturn, she says it would be better for me to return to my husband. To return to her husband is not a sign of repentance. It is a sign of economic reality—at least there is food and clothing there.

Beginning with verse 8 the full image is of the relationship between God and Israel. All the good gifts that came to them was from the hand of God but Israel acknowledged and worshiped idols. They gave honor to the idols as those who brought the gifts. According to verse 13 they forgot God. They overlooked and ignored God. God had nothing to do with the choices they made or the direction as a nation. Protection came from other nations. Prosperity came from ingenuity and political power. God’s promise—he will remove all the gifts that they credit their gods with giving them and then they will see the power of their gods and the other nations.

Response

We want to minimize our spiritual adultery. We, like Gomer, pretend that we capably achieve all that we need. We do not acknowledge our dependence on God. Added to that is that our culture shouts the message that anyone who expects and calls for repentance is being judgmental. Even Jesus said “don’t judge” says our culture. Quoting a certain portion of scripture is not the entire point. In Matthew 7, Jesus says we are to deal with our own sin first, and then help others in sin deal with theirs. The point is not to ignore sin, but to deal with our sin first before we call others to repentance.

Sin has to do with forgetting God. Sin has to do with acting as if God means nothing or very little. God is ignored in our culture and at times he is ignored in us. Decisions are made without consulting him and thinking about him. God is overlooked and so trite that when people use his name to swear or to curse there is no shame. Oh my God is said to curse rather than to praise. The arrogance of believing that we do not need God leads us to pursue other lovers and to bow to other gods. We pursue that which will bring pleasure and personal satisfaction and then accuse others of being judgmental if we are challenged to consider humility. Repentance is a shameful word in our culture.

Do not allow the culture to lead you astray from God. Arrogance is the foundation for sin. Arrogance says we do not need God. Arrogance thinks that sin matters little. Arrogance says that no one has a right to tell me what to do. Arrogance says that any call for repentance comes from religious hypocrites who act like they are better than others. Arrogance says I know better than God what I need. Arrogance says the things that surround you that make life better came from you—your intelligence, your power, your strength. Arrogance presumes upon God’s mercy demanding more rather than changing the direction of life to coincide more to what God wants.

Arrogance says that God is too loving and that he will condemn only the worst of sinners to hell while saying in our hearts that we will not be in the group. Like Gomer, we hedge our bets. We play the role of church member and expect God to be pleased with that, but we still have the heart of a prostitute. And when the acting begins to take a toll on us, we leave the congregation with these words, “they were too judgmental.” And God’s response is firm—I love you too much to bail you out. I love you too much to ignore your sin. I love you so much that I am going to let you experience the consequences of your sin.

We are left with a choice—arrogance or repentance. Arrogance or humility. Admitting we don’t need God or admitting that we are broken in need of God’s healing. Faith in self or faith in God. Letting God direct our path or choosing our own path. The choice is ours. Invitation.

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