The Man God Wants

Introduction

Last spring I was assigned a new class to teach entitled “Men, Faith, and Families.” It was a class only for men and it has to be one of my favorite classes to teach since I have been at Freed. 12 men signed up. The class was discussion oriented. I would present a topic and they would discuss. It was a class filled with scripture and trying to help them find their voice as a man. As you can imagine personalities ranged from the timid to the bold; from the uncertain to the confident; from the negative to the positive. Some came to talk; others came to listen; some seemed to check out (focus on the word seemed) — they were listening. I told Barbara I felt like Jesus with his disciples and I am far from that, but 12 was poetic.

There were many things I learned from those 12 men. I learned that trying to discover what it means to be a man in today’s world is confusing. I learned that these men struggle with sin and are afraid to be found out. I learned that their faith is far deeper than I imagined. I learned that finding a good wife mattered to them. I learned that success was not measured by money but that most wanted to pursue careers that mattered to them so they could be helpful to others. One student wanted to be a lawyer who could help those who lacked financial resources. One wanted to own his own landscaping business because he loved to be outdoors. A few wanted to be ministers and two were undecided. One wanted to be a music producer who focused on songs that revealed God with a message that appealed to more than a Christian audience.

One student walked with me everyday after class back to my office just to talk about life, struggles, and the day’s discussion. He was often late for his next class but he never seemed concerned. I came away from the class more convinced that men need to be reminded of God’s desire for them as men. Today’s lesson is directed to men, but women need to know what God is looking for as well. So that both men and women can cooperate with God.

Creation

Before there was marriage, there was a man. While God made us for relationship, he made man first and for some period of time man was alone. Without being dramatic or trying to push the text too far, man was created and alone; woman has never been alone. Is it too far-fetched to consider that while we are created for relationship, a man’s independence seems to be ingrained? What is often criticized as man’s aloofness may actually be an important part of God’s creative design? This is not to give permission for a man to remain aloof, but read the text carefully. Before woman is created, the man lives by himself among the animals and at some point he becomes aware of his aloneness but for a time he is “content.” Is this God’s intent?

Turn to Genesis 2:15. From the very beginning God gave the man something to do. Work the garden and care for it. What needs to be done to a garden that has not been tainted yet by sin? I do not know, for we do not live in that kind of world. Whatever needed to be done, the man was to deal with it. Inherent in this word “care” is the idea of tend, guard, protect, keep it. It is in the nature of man to guard and protect. It is in the nature of man to tend to something. God created man with a purpose and responsibility. Some men have lost it. They search for it. If we listen to what our culture tells us, we are miserable failures at that. Some men have gone too far and abused and misused their purpose and responsibility.

In Genesis 2:19-20 as part of his job to take care of the garden the man is given the task to name the animals. I saw a comedian who said, the man started out really giving thought. He started with the birds — red headed woodpecker, baltimore oriole, mockingbird, but by the time he got to the land animals he was exhausted — cow, pig, dog, cat. The Bible says that man was given authority over all living things. The naming of the animals would have represented his authority. Man not only protects, but he has rule over that which he names. Notice, however, that there is harmony. At least until sin came. Then disharmony between man and the created world.

Look at Genesis 3:17-19. Sin came and disharmony was the result. For the man, he will be banished from Eden. The ground will work against him. To put it another way, success will not come without a fight. For every step forward there will be a step back. Working hard is good, but you will have to work harder just to make it work. There is the promise of physical fatigue but inherent is the promise of mental fatigue as well. Frustration and pain are ours. While our culture provides for retirement, one doesn’t get to that point without pain and frustration. To put it bluntly, men work hard all their life and then die. This is our consequence for sin. The silence of Adam is deafening. Do not take his silence for defeat. In fact, it is the opposite. In a culture that says men need to share their feelings, we have Adam who accepts his responsibility with quiet determination. How do I know that? Verse 20. He now names his wife. According to 2:23, she was simply called woman before, but with a name comes a change in relationship.

Go to 3:16. The consequence given to the woman in relationship with her husband — he will rule over you. Sin brings disharmony. The wise man understands this truth and does not use his position to inflict harm, but he also understands that this truth is not negotiable. Deemed by God as a curse of sin, the marital relationship will always seem unequal. The word for “rule” here is different from 1:28. It’s the same word that is used in 1:16 in which the sun “rules” over the day and the moon “rules” over the night. Can you stop the sun from shining? Adam names his wife. Dominion. Wise husbands who are tasked with the responsibility to work hard through defeat; to not give up; to keep moving forward; this man understands his need for relationship.

We Need Men

Sin makes finding the balance between ruling and caring difficult. In some ways we have made the only acceptable form of man one who is reserved, gentle, calm, and emotionally revealing. There is a need for that and there are biblical instructions to men about that. But men are called to be holy and holy includes humility, gentleness, calmness but it also requires the created traits of purpose, determination, focus, responsibility, and a conquering desire.

What kind of men do we want?

We need men like Moses who is called the meekest man on earth Numbers 12:3 but who melted the golden calf and forced the people to drink it when God’s honor was at stake.

We need men like Joshua and Caleb who stood against the pressure of their peers and fought for God and who after 40 years of suffering the consequences of others’ decisions came out fighting to claim what was theirs.

We need men like Barnabas who encouraged people financially and spiritually. Who took a villain like Paul and vouched for him and then stood his ground even when it meant that Paul rejected him fighting for Mark.

We need men like David who could write a poem and kill a lion with his bare hands. A man like David who though undersized and undertrained took on the giant Goliath because God’s name was at stake.

We need men like Phineas, the grandson of Aaron in Numbers 25 who went to extreme measures to protect God’s name.

We need men like Jesus who could hold a child on his lap and bless that child and with the same hands overturn tables in the temple and use whips to chase ungodly men out of the temple because God’s name was being dishonored.

We need men who will shepherd with care but who will not back down to uphold God’s name and honor.

We need men who understand that finding the balance to be gentle requires an equal determination to be God’s man. With the ability to focus and be responsible we do so with courage and determination to provide, protect, to care and to keep going when others are discouraged.

And we need women who will support and encourage these men.

Turn to Hebrews 11:32-34. These are the men God is looking for. Men of faith who put their lives on the line for God. Men of faith who will accept the consequence of their faith and move forward. Not perfect men. But men who carry out their created purpose — to tend, protect, care, and rule for God and because of God. Invitation.

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