Step Up!

Introduction

It is said that imitation is the greatest form of flattery. I suppose that is true as long as the imitation exhibits our good qualities. As parents and especially as fathers we demonstrate for our children how to live life. Our children see our reactions to challenging situations; they see when we lose our temper, patience, and ability to think and they see us when we demonstrate strength, peace, and resolve. Our children learn from us. Of course our children make their own decisions when they reach adulthood but they learn from us as parents how to live life.

Our lesson today will address the role of fathers in the family, but the principles will address all parents not just fathers. The importance of fathers cannot be underestimated. In the last two decades particularly numerous research studies have been done to examine the role of fathers in the home. These studies have questioned and observed fathers, but mothers and children as well. One thing is obvious—fathers play an integral role in the development of children. A study of American middle class children done in 2000 revealed that mothers teach social skills while fathers encourage their children to expand thinking and take more risks. We fathers play a significant role in helping our children to be independent and to use thinking and reasoning skills. We are not going to spend our time this morning reviewing research, but it is interesting that so much attention has been given to fathers in the last twenty years. Why? Because even social scientists are recognizing that social norms are affected by more than just the mother. The teaching by the feminist movement that men are not needed is untrue. But the reality is that fathers who give up on their families and who act for self interest do more harm than good. I want to encourage our fathers this morning and in the process I hope to encourage all our families as we raise children who will honor God.

1 Thessalonians

Paul is writing to a very young congregation in Thessalonica. According to Acts 17 Paul had only a few weeks of teaching and preaching in the city before he was driven out. In that short period of time, a number of people came to faith in Jesus. But there was not enough time to mature these Christians. This first letter to the church is to strengthen and encourage them. Paul writes that his attitude toward this congregation is like a parent. In 2:7, Paul says his attitude toward them was like a mother caring for her little children. His love and tenderness was evident to all. Then in 2:11, Paul says that his conduct toward the congregation is like a father dealing with his own children. Paul lists three ways that a father deals with his children.

The father in the ancient world was normally responsible for the moral instruction and behavior of his children. He also took the lead in making sure his children knew the culture economically and socially. Combined with verse 12, Paul says that he took on the role of a father to these converts. He not only taught them the gospel, but taught them as well how to live a life worthy of God’s call. Coming out of pagan religions, these new converts had to be taught how they were to live to honor God. As any good father, Paul did this for his spiritual children. And he expects his children to listen to him and to obey.

So how did Paul act like a father? First he exhorted or encouraged the converts and second he admonished or comforted them. These two words are closely related but suggest a nuance of difference. Paul exhorted or encouraged them to live for God and after these exhortations they needed comfort. Changing their lives to coincide with God’s will meant that there would be times for ridicule and persecution. Again in Acts 17, several are dragged before the magistrates and fined for causing an uproar in the city. Like a good father, Paul not only taught them to live for God, but comforted them when others turned on them.

Our own children need this kind of reassurance. We teach them to do the right thing; we hold up for them the will of God; we exhort them to ignore the ways of this world and to live for God. And we do so knowing that at some point they will feel excluded, isolated, and alone. And at that time the wise father; the wise parent will find ways to comfort. When our children are hurting they don’t need more instruction, they need comforting words. When our children are absorbing the blows which come from those who do not care about their walk with God, then they don’t need our criticism they need our comfort.

The third word that Paul uses to describe his action as a father is the word which means urging. It is a strong word. It carries the idea of insisting and in this case Paul is insisting on a certain standard of behavior from these new converts. Paul didn’t force anyone to give their life to Christ, but once that decision was made, he insisted on living a life which was consistent with God’s call. This doesn’t mean that life in Christ’s church in Thessalonica became a battleground of disharmony. It does mean that even as Paul was comforting these new converts he was insisting that they remain committed to the call of God.

Fathers, so we too, insist and urge our children to adhere to certain standards. The easiest thing to do is to allow your children to act the way they want to. The next easiest thing to do is to correct behavior with words only and no consequences. The hardest thing to do is to urge and insist that children adhere to certain standards and being willing to pay the price as a parent to see it through. We must remember who the parent is and who are the children. We must remember that learning to live up to certain standards does not mean perfection but it does mean clear boundaries and rules which can be followed.

Application

Fathers do not underestimate the impact that you have on your children. One of the fallacies that has entered into our culture is that the mother by nature is a nurturer and that fathers really don’t have this ability. The stereotypical view is that the father provides economically and the mother provides emotionally. Interestingly, this view still prevails although more women work and provide economically than ever before. I’m not sure when our culture relegated child rearing to mothers and that fathers were sideline coaches, but this is not the biblical view. Fathers who settle for being on the sideline are sinning against their families. When we as fathers encourage, comfort, and urge our children to live by God’s standards; when we as fathers involve ourselves in the lives of our children, our children respond in God honoring ways. Do not underestimate the impact for good that you have on your children. Do not give that responsibility over to the mother of your children. It is yours. Take hold of that responsibility and follow God’s will.

Insist on following God’s will. Encourage your children to give their lives over to God and be the one who comforts them when their friends make fun of them or turn against them because they have had the courage to do the right thing. Quit telling your kids to go ask their mother. Consult with their mother and you announce a joint decision. But you be the one to announce the decision. Allow your kids to feel the tenderness of your arms and to hear the warmth of your words. Fathers, our mission is too important to turn it over to someone else.

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