Starting Spiritual Discussions

Introduction

Our mission is to go and share Jesus. This mission grows out of who we are. We share Jesus with others because we love them, care about them, want the best for them. We share Jesus because we want to give people the gift of our time. There is no program to bring all of the about. These things come because of who we are. But the truth is at some point we have to say something about Jesus. We can be loving, caring, and giving of our time but without saying something about Jesus or at least saying something which is spiritually motivated our friends cannot be expected to guess what is going on in our lives.

So we use the personality which God has given us and approach people. Some of us are direct, some of us are logical, some of us are entertainers, some of us are servant oriented, and some of us just can simply tell our story. We have to discover which approach best fits our personality and take the plunge. Let me say it one more time. This isn’t a program; this comes from you because of who you are and what you are convinced of because of Jesus. Anything else is manipulative and contrived and will not win people to Jesus.

Today we are going to apply our personality type to the idea of how to start a spiritual discussion. Using your style, how can you begin a spiritual conversation which will lead another person to think about Jesus. Our ultimate aim of course is to help someone know Jesus better, but spiritual conversations are designed to get people to think. Because we see this world differently because of Jesus so we want to help others see this world through the eyes of Jesus as well. So today is designed to give some practical pointers on how to start those spiritual conversations with our friends, family, and coworkers.

How to Start a Spiritual Conversation

The potential for having spiritual conversations with friends is regularly present. We have to be looking for it and we have to be courageous enough to take advantage of it. Again, these opportunities will fit our personality. But the initiation of spiritual discussions usually has to come from us. We have to steer discussions toward spiritual topics but let’s settle one issue right at the front. Having a spiritual discussion does not mean having all the answers or being able to quote large portions of scripture or being able to discuss the intricacies of great theological thought. Spiritual discussions are ways for us to relate to our friends with the specific goal of helping them to see the world differently because of God.

What we are discussing makes sense only if you firmly believe that your life is better because of Jesus and you firmly believe that other’s will be better if they know Jesus too. If this idea poses a problem, then maybe you need to have a little more foundation before you begin trying to lead someone else to know Jesus.

There are three different approaches we are going to examine. Again you must decide which approach best fits your personality and then maybe take some of these suggestions and add your own. The first approach is direct. This approach creates opportunities rather than waiting for them to present themselves. This isn’t to say that we wrestle God’s timing away from others but it means that we are very direct in the way we approach people about spiritual things. You simply present spiritual ideas and then see if there is any interest. This seems to be the approach that Jesus used with the Samaritan woman in John 4. He offered her living water and she was interested. She didn’t understand it, but she wanted something which was going to dramatically change her life.

So what does this approach look like? Let’s say you walk into work and the person that you regularly see and that you have some relationship with is there. “How’s it going?” you say. They respond with “Oh, fine.” But you can hear in their voice that it isn’t completely fine. So you respond with “Come on, you can tell me. How’s it really going?” “Do you really want to know?” this person says. “Of course.” And they tell you.

At the end of the conversation you are direct and you say something like this. “Listen, I don’t know all the answers to this, but I want you to know that God does and I am going to pray for you that he will supply you with some answers.”

Maybe you are sitting with your friend at lunch. You have talked about work, sports, stocks, family and other things. Maybe things are more than just superficial with you. So you begin asking very direct questions

     (1) Who, in your opinion, was Jesus?

     (2) Do you ever think about spiritual things?

     (3) What is your religious background? Were you taught a particular religious perspective growing up?

     (4) Do you ever wonder what happens to us when we die?

     (5) What do you think a real Christian is?

     (6) Where are you heading in your spiritual journey?

     (7) Or any other question which is direct and to the point about spiritual matters. Any of these questions can open the door for your friend and the door may indeed lead to an eternity with God.

The second approach we’ll call indirect. This approach is kind of a backdoor approach. Without being direct you bring spiritual things into the conversation. Let’s say you are with a business acquaintance and the person says “how are things going?” Your answer is like this: “financially, okay; family-wise, pretty well; spiritually, things are great. Which one do you want to talk about?” If your business acquaintance says “financially” that’s okay. You have still planted a seed for later conversation.

In your neighborhood someone new moves in. You go and take a plate of hot cookies to them and you begin the small talk approach. Where are they from? Do they need to know about grocery stores? Beauty parlors? Gas stations? A place to get their car worked on? Are they looking for a good church? Backdoor but still it let’s them know that you are willing to discuss spiritual things.

Let’s say you are visiting with a friend and you are talking about hobbies. And you list among your hobbies or how you spend your spare time something about working with children. And your friend begins to ask questions about what it is you do with these children and you begin to describe in great detail your work in Children’s Bible Hour or your teaching ministry. Then you relate interesting stories about how the children responded to a certain story and you have indirectly brought spiritual matters into the conversation.

Let’s say you are at the zoo with some friends or family and as you are walking around looking at the different animals you remark as you are looking at the giraffe “God must have a sense of humor to create such an animal.” Spiritual conversation. What if your friend says “I guess but I don’t believe in God.” Failure? Hardly. “Tell me why you don’t believe in God.” Spiritual conversation.

Let’s say you are talking with your neighbor and they remark that their children are driving them up the wall. What a wonderful time to say “Hey, let me share a book with you that really helped me understand my kids a little. It’s written by a man who is a psychologist and tries to use biblical principles to make a difference. It’s called the “Strong-Willed Child.”

There are lots of opportunities which allow us to say something of a spiritual nature. We just have to be willing to be indirect but not hesitant about our faith.

The final approach is called invitational. This approach simply invites friends and family to spiritual events. Most of the time when we invite people to a spiritual event we are going to be turned down. Plan for that and be prepared to go a step beyond the invitation to enter into a spiritual discussion. “That’s all right. We’ll try something another time. I know you have a lot going on. But you know I am curious about your spiritual background. Were you raised with any particular religious point of view?” To increase chances that the invitation may be accepted try to have something printed or written out about the event. Try to make sure that it is an event in which your friend will be welcome. Offer for your friend to go with you. Suggest having coffee or a meal together after the event. In other words make sure the invitation is personal and that your friend senses your interest in them not just issuing the invitation.

Whichever approach you use there are a few guidelines we need to keep in mind.

Pray. Ask God to help you with words and to guide others to be receptive.

Talk with others individually. Try to make spiritual discussions private. You don’t want your friend to feel embarrassed or put on the spot.

Show genuine interest. If you want them to be interested in what you have to say spiritually then be prepared and willing to talk with them about what they think and believe spiritually. Ask about their beliefs.

Expect opportunities. Many times spiritual discussions are not planned. They happen suddenly and without warning but only if we are willing to encourage such discussions. So the next time someone says “what are you doing this weekend?” Instead of saying “nothing” or “going to work in the yard” tell them about a family meal or taking teens on a trip or something of a spiritual nature that is going on. Maybe even it is as simple as saying, “well, Saturday looks pretty typical, but Sunday is going to be wonderful because I’ll be with people that I love and that love me.” What will you be doing? your friend will ask. And you will say, “I’ll be worshiping God with some really special people. Would you like to come?”

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