Risk

Introduction

Frank said it so well last week. This series is about who we are. Sharing our lives with others is because we are the neighbor for Jesus, not about us trying to figure out who our neighbor is. We know this to be true. We know we want to be a neighbor to others. In fact, we are. We spend time with people—co-workers, family, neighbors—and we give our time and energy. The disconnect comes in understanding that we are building these relationships because they matter to us. No manipulation. No ulterior motive. But there is also the part of us that finds it difficult to reveal the full self. We get anxious to speak about our faith or to speak words that demonstrate our values. Our workplace frowns on being directly religious. Politics is more easily spoken of than religion in many cases.

I had a young man come to me recently and tell me that he is trying to find his path. He is convicted about his faith. He knows what God wants, but some of his friends are heading in a less convicted path. He doesn’t want to be the one who keeps them from having fun but he doesn’t want to join in with them either. And if you listen carefully, his dilemma is ours—loneliness and isolation. To walk with Jesus may mean that we feel isolated and lonely. Taking up our cross and following Jesus may result in us being ignored, ridiculed, or worse avoided. This is where our anxiety gets us. We imagine going to work and having awkward conversations or being left out. Our imagination convinces us that the path of the cross is a lonely path. And that is what I told that young man. Sometimes it is a lonely path.

So it is far easier to be silent and surrounded by others than to be alone at work, in the neighborhood, or even at Thanksgiving meals. The result—conversations stay superficial. We talk of mundane things and try to build relationships on the temporary. Avoiding revealing what really matters to us eases our anxiety, but the longer we go in avoiding the harder it becomes for us to engage. Today I want to talk about taking a risk. For most of us this will increase our anxiety. But it will be a time for us to imagine how we can reveal the real us to friends and co-workers so that they can see Jesus. Because that is what we really want.

Building Trust

I have a hard time with sales. When I choose to deal with someone who has the potential to sell me a product, I am skeptical at best and distrustful at worst. I have bought several cars in my lifetime. Not too many. I hate the process and I typically feel like I am being taken advantage of. The only time I felt confident in the car buying process was when my brother was in the business and I bought a car through him. I literally sat in his office and didn’t do anything until the paperwork came in and I signed. I left that day with a new car and feeling like I got the best deal I could have possibly gotten.

Most of us prefer to know the person we are dealing with. It makes a difference when we at least perceive that there is a relationship between us and the person making the pitch or offer. Why would we think it is any different when it comes to helping others know Christ? The tried and true method is friendships with others. We build relationships with others so that we can share Jesus. And when we have built and developed that relationship, then we earn the right to be heard. When we demonstrate our love, care, authenticity and compassionate sacrifice, then we offer our friends Christ.

How do you become friends with people? Most of us meet; we share insignificant facts and opinions and then we move to more significant interaction. We move from the weather and sports to our children and then to how we feel about politics and then how we feel about our family and then to how we feel when we are disappointed and then to our fears and then to our failures and then to our deepest desires and wishes. We do not begin with the intimate. A relationship has to be built. As Frank talked about last week, this requires sharing time with people. Relationships are not built without the commitment of time.

You know what else builds relationship. Sharing food. A cup of coffee; a granola bar at break; a meal. The sharing of food breaks down barriers or to put it in the positive, it allows for greater intimacy. Let’s suppose you have a neighbor that you have met a few times. You have talked over the fence and laughed at stupid jokes. What’s next? Invite them to an assembly? Hardly. Such an invitation may result in building a wall rather than a bridge. Have them over for a cookout or if that seems too threatening, invite them for dessert. Sit down and talk about some small things. Spend a few minutes and let them go home. Then plan for more time together. Plan to spend an evening together. The relationship is building. If you click you are ready to move forward. If things are going well the conversation will deepen and you are gaining a friend while demonstrating love and care. And in time, your friendship will deepen to the point of being able to talk about meaty subjects like faith, God, and life.

There is no secret to this method because it isn’t a method, it is a way of living and thinking and being real. If you make it into a method, then it will be simple manipulation with the end being used to justify the means. The relationship you are building is a friendship. A real connection. At times Paul is misunderstood in 1 Corinthians 9. Some think Paul is suggesting that by becoming all things to all people that he is talking about methodology. That is an important discussion, but Paul isn’t talking about his methods for reaching others. In verse 19 he says he is free and belongs to no man. This is a statement of financial independence. He is not subject to the thoughts of any group because he is not indebted to anyone for his living. He is free so that he can be a slave to all. When Paul looks at people he is interested in discovering the means by which he can serve them. He is interested in discovering ways in which to enter their world with their language and their way of thinking so that he may convince them that Jesus is the answer to life’s questions. There is no modification of the gospel. What there is a modification of Paul. Instead of looking for his own interests, he looks to the interests of others. He is a slave to all. He serves all.

Whether coworker, neighbor, family, or friend, we discover ways to serve them. We discover ways to enter their world. We do not compromise the gospel but we build relationships and bridges to knowing people so that some may be saved. These relationships are real and genuine.

Follow Jesus

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