Risk

Introduction

Do you love people? Do you care about people? Are you willing for the real you to be seen? Are you willing to be compassionately sacrificial for others? These are four important questions that should be at the forefront when we begin to think about helping others come to know Christ. Sooner or later, Christians start thinking in terms of a foolproof method for leading people to Christ. What we have been looking at so far is not so much a method as it is a way of thinking. We have to change the way we think about people. We have to start thinking of how we can demonstrate our love, care, and authenticity in the context of compassionate sacrifice. We demonstrate our love with those we already know. We demonstrate our love to those we don’t know but want to get to know.

Sometimes we think we have no “contacts” with those who might not know Christ. The problem in such a case does not lie with our lack of contacts. We may not be as active as we once were. For instance, we may be retired and so we miss out on coworkers. But do we not have neighbors who need love, care, and compassionate sacrifice? If you have a job, unless your job requires that you travel extensively, then you are in regular contact with individuals who may need to know about your love, care, and authenticity. Busy children means that we are constantly meeting other parents and being near those that we don’t know but will meet fairly regularly. You have contacts.

Some suggest that what we need to do is knock on doors and find new contacts this way. Imagine the following scene. It is a Saturday morning. You have slept in just a little, but while there are chores, you want today to be a leisurely day. You have had a hard week at work; the challenges continue to pile up, but today is going to be a calm day. You intend to work out in your yard; you intend to read the paper leisurely; the kids may have something they want to do and you will gladly give them your attention because today is a leisure day. You have barely had your first cup of coffee and you are reading the paper. You haven’t dressed for the day. After all it is a day of leisure. At about 8:30, there is a knock on your door and you wonder who could be coming by so early on a Saturday morning. You adjust your robe and answer the door to find two individuals who want to talk with you about becoming a part of God’s organization. How do you respond to this opportunity? Do you think: Man, I can’t believe how great it is to be able to talk about highly personal and complicated matters with two strangers? Or do you think: I don’t want this intrusion. I don’t even know these people. Why should I discuss something so intimate with complete strangers?

When you bought your last car, did you know the salesperson? If you did, didn’t it at least make you feel like you weren’t being cheated in the process? Have there been times when you made a purchase or decision simply because you knew the person who was making the pitch or the recommendation? Most of us prefer to know the person we are dealing with. It makes a difference when we at least perceive that there is a relationship between us and the person making the pitch or offer. Why would we think it is any different when it comes to helping others know Christ? The tried and true method is friendships with others. If we want to make an impact, we will do so by being in relationship with those who do not know Christ. And when we have built and developed that relationship, then we earn the right to be heard. Then we are able after demonstrating our love, care, authenticity and compassionate sacrifice to offer to our friends Christ.

Building Relationships

Last week we looked at how we develop relationships with others. We give to people the gift of time. We begin to take a real interest in them. This cannot be faked. Genuine love and care makes an impact. In giving this gift of time, we have to realize that we do not start off with spiritual insights. We build relationships oftentimes slowly but deliberately. How do you respond when someone walks up to you and says “do you want these free tickets?” Maybe you have met them; maybe they are complete strangers; either way you are skeptical. Here is the principle that comes from Bill Hybels’ book entitled “Contagious Christianity”—Barbecue First.

How do you become friends with people? Most of us meet; we share insignificant facts and opinions and then we move to more significant interaction. We move from the weather and sports to our children and then to how we feel about politics and then how we feel about our family and then to how we feel when we are disappointed and then to our fears and then to our failures and then to our deepest desires and wishes. We do not begin with the intimate. A relationship has to be built. Barbeque first.

Let’s suppose you have a neighbor that you have met a few times. You have talked over the fence and laughed at stupid jokes. What’s next? Invite them to an assembly? Hardly. Such an invitation may result in building a wall rather than a bridge. Barbeque first. Have them over for a cookout or if that seems too threatening, invite them for dessert. Sit down and talk about some small things. Spend a few minutes and let them go home. Then plan for the barbeque. Spend an evening together. The relationship is building. If you click you are ready to move forward. Try doing something together beyond the barbeque. Try dinner out. Or have them over for a second time. If things are going well the conversation will deepen and you are gaining a friend while demonstrating love and care. And in time, your friendship will deepen to the point of being able to talk about meaty subjects like faith, God, and life. And all the while you are being real and authentic.

There is no secret to this method because it isn’t a method, it is a way of living and thinking and being real. If you make it into a method, then it will be simple manipulation with the end being used to justify the means. The relationship you are building you want to last beyond one barbeque. Barbeque first.

At times Paul is misunderstood in 1 Corinthians 9. Some think Paul is suggesting that by becoming all things to all people that he is talking about methodology. That is an important discussion, but Paul isn’t talking about his methods for reaching others. In verse 19 he says he is free and belongs to no man. This is a statement of financial independence. He is not subject to the thoughts of any group because he is not indebted to anyone for his living. He is free so that he can be a slave to all. When Paul looks at people he is interested in discovering the means by which he can serve them. He is interested in discovering ways in which to enter their world with their language and their way of thinking so that he may convince them that Jesus is the answer to life’s questions. There is no modification of the gospel. What there is a modification of Paul. Instead of looking for his own interests, he looks to the interests of others. He is a slave to all. He serves all.

If there is a method, this is it. Whether coworker, neighbor, family, or friend, we discover ways to serve them. We discover ways to enter their world. We do not compromise the gospel but we build relationships and bridges to knowing people so that some may be saved. These relationships are real and genuine. By all means barbeque first. Prayer.

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