Reunion

Introduction

We have all been there. The awkward family reunions. People that you don’t see very often and many of whom you do not know. You get with people that you don’t know well and so the reunion goes like this. You smile a lot. You shake hands maybe hug a few. Then come the questions — How you are doing? What do you expect to happen? Then the response. Fine. How are you doing? Good. How are things in Memphis? Still standing. How did you come up this year? Did you take Highway 51 or did you go through Jackson? When things start to wind down then we start all over again. So you guys are doing okay?

The awkwardness is amplified when there have been some significant changes since the last reunion and no one wants to talk about the elephant in the room. The distant cousin who got married for the fourth time and is here to introduce his new bride. Or the siblings who do not get along but for the sake of the family will show up and dodge each other for the duration. I know there are good family reunions but I also know that many times families are not always as comfortable with each other as we would like to believe.

Our focus today is on the reunion between Jacob and Esau. Jacob anticipates this being an awkward reunion. We are going to notice his preparation for the reunion and then we will make some application in terms of reconciliation. Let’s be encouraged.

Preparation

Jacob goes through a lot of strategic thought preparing to meet Esau. According to chapter 32 he sent servants ahead to see what Esau’s reaction would be to his return. Hearing that Esau is coming out to meet him with an army of 400 men was almost too much to bear. Jacob divides his animals and servants into two groups. The idea according to 32:8 his thought is to allow at least one of the groups to escape should Esau begin an attack. He prays all night and meets God in a wrestling match. He sends gifts with his servants with words that he will be bringing up the rear.

He divides his family up into three groups probably in order of preference. So let’s get this straight — he prays, arranges for gifts, divides things so as to allow for escape in the event of an attack and when he finally meets Esau he bows not once or twice but seven times to demonstrate his desire to serve Esau. Can we all say awkward? Jacob has done everything humanly possible to prepare to meet Esau and he has sought God’s help. He has all the bases covered except the base of certainty. After all of this Jacob is still uncertain about the outcome. The meeting takes place. I’m sure that it was quite an awkward moment. Even Esau recognized the awkwardness. Notice 33:8.

Unlike chapter 27 when Esau is criticized, in this chapter Esau looks like the hero. He sees Jacob and runs to him. He hugs and kisses him. All signs that he is doing everything he can to make things right between them. He rejects the gifts but Jacob insists. Esau offers to go with Jacob the rest of the way home meaning Esau’s home. But Jacob refuses. Esau then offers protection with some of his servants and Jacob refuses that as well. Esau is the good guy in this story. He is the one who is trying to make things right between the two of them. But there is an unmistakable awkwardness to the story. With every offer, Jacob is quick to decline.

Reconciliation

Part of what makes this awkward is Jacob’s guilt. Jacob puts himself in a position of servant. He calls Esau “lord.” Esau uses the term “brother.” Never once does Jacob acknowledge the family relationship. Jacob acknowledges the warm welcome but he is not comfortable. His discomfort still leaves a barrier. Have you been there? Sinned against another but not sure if forgiveness has been extended. Been at the point where you were uncertain even after the words had been spoken. Not much more that Esau could have done. He ran to meet his brother; he hugged him; he kissed him; he refused recompense; he offered protection; he offered a place for Jacob to stay. The problem isn’t with Esau but with Jacob.

There are times when people will say that they didn’t feel forgiven. The problem more often than not is not with the person or congregation but with the person who still feels guilt.

Maybe it is because we expect people to punish us and when they don’t we just keep waiting for it to happen. Or maybe it is we begin to realize that we aren’t as good at forgiving as we think we are.

So what is this thing forgiveness really about?

Forgiveness is about not demanding your rights. It is about recognizing that while you may have the right to try to make things just and right, it is about recognizing that these things are out of your hands.

It is about learning to accept God’s forgiveness and then willingly sharing that forgiveness with others.

It is about recognizing that what someone has done to me, I have done to someone else. It is recognizing that when we sin we want forgiveness and we must be willing to be the same with others.

It is about speaking the truth of what has been done so that the other person can express sorrow. It is not about remaining silent and sweeping things under the rug. It is admitting faults and saying words of sorrow with the intent of changing one’s actions to coincide with that sorrow.

This story is similar to the story of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15. The younger boy leaves home and spends his life in living outside his Father’s will. He returns home ashamed. It is the Father who rushes out to meet his son. It is the father who hugs and kisses him. It is the Father who mercifully gives his son what he needs not what he deserves. The very nature of forgiveness allows us to go beyond what is humanly possible. If God treats us this way we can treat others this way as well.

Jacob is maturing. In 32:17 he intended to bring up the rear. In 33:3 he gets in front and leads his family to meet Esau. He is growing up. Esau invites him to go to Seir. Jacob agrees but then refuses once Esau is gone. Esau goes southward; Jacob goes to the north. Why? Jacob is listening to God. In chapter 28:13 and following God had promised the land around Bethel to Jacob. So Jacob goes to Shechem just a few miles northward of that area. Jacob is trying to listen to God and follow him.

There is someone who needs forgiveness today. There is someone who carrying a grudge and refuses to let go of it. Reconciliation needs to take place. Invitation.

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