Real Love

Introduction

A. We learn so many things from the family we grow up in. We learn hundreds of lessons that become so much a part of us that it isn’t until we bump up against other ways to do things that we recognize other possibilities. From our families we learn how to have fun, how to communicate, how to express affection, how to spend money, how to celebrate, how to deal with anger, and so many other ways to act in this world.

B. One of the things that we learn from our family as we grow up is how to treat other people. It isn’t just a matter of how to love although that is included but how we view other people and thus how to treat them. How to treat a stranger; how to treat one who is in need; how to view those around you. We learn from our family. Some may have heard as they grew up, “You are no better than anyone else.” Some may have heard “You are better than others.” Some may have heard when approached by someone who was in need “He should get a job.” Or you may have heard “He needs our help and we will help him.” Some grew up suspicious about the motives of others; some grew up learning to be quick to respond. Some grew up taught to be generous; some grew up taught to be sure before you give. You get the point.

C. The lessons that we learned from our earthly family are not easily forgotten or set aside. Those lessons are entrenched within us. We discard, reject, or alter those lessons through intent. We are part of a new family. While we grew up in a family that taught us many things — things which have served us well — we are now part of the family of God. And our father wants to teach us how to love. He wants to teach us that love is giving; serving; sacrificial; costly. This kind of love isn’t easily learned. So Father decided to do more than tell us about this kind of love. He showed us. And having shown us; he invites us to participate with him in this kind of love. He has shown us this kind of love, the question is will we join with him; will we change how we do things to reflect the way God loves? We can only love this way with intentionality. It will not just happen.

Perfect Love

A. Having just stated that our love for one another demonstrates that God lives within us, John supports that truth in verse 13 by reminding the readers that the presence of the Holy Spirit also proves that God lives in us. While there has been some debate about John’s implied meaning in mentioning the Spirit, it seems that John’s point is not to create a stir but to produce added confidence. God’s Spirit is not given indiscriminately. His presence brings confidence that God is living in us and we are in God.

B. Furthermore, the fact that God is living within us and we are living within God is further demonstrated in the purpose of Jesus’ presence. God sent Jesus to be the Savior. This demonstrates the fullness of God’s love. Thus, those who acknowledge that Jesus is the Son of God has confidence to know that God lives in him and he in God. The idea of acknowledge doesn’t only mean to give mental assent but to affirm with a changed life. The overall flow of thought in John will not allow one to merely assent to Jesus but one’s life must be changed by Christ’s work. This change is seen in how one loves the brothers.

C. The true believer lives in love. The true believer has experienced the love of God and wants to live within this love and be a part of this love and to express this love to others. Such immersion in love brings assurance and confidence on the day of judgment. When the believer stands before God there will be confidence. John says this confidence is because we are like him. We love like Jesus loves. We are invited to be giving, serving, sacrificial in our love just as Jesus was. When we love this way, this means there is great confidence as we await the judgment. No fear. Instead there is perfection or completion. Love brings completion and confidence.

D. John completes this text by reminding us that our love is based on God’s love. This love does not come from our own strength; it does not come from our own initiative. This love comes from recognizing what God has done for us. The more we recognize what God has done the more our love develops. And that love is expressed outwardly. To say we love God while we hold onto our love is to lie. One who loves God gives that love away. We express our love to others. To hold on to love; to be selfish with love proves that we do not love God. Real love is like God’s love — giving, serving, sacrificial, costly.

Application

A. Dave Simmons in his book “Dad, the Family Coach” tells the following story. I took Helen (eight years old) and Brandon (five years old) to the Cloverleaf Mall in Hattiesburg to do a little shopping. As we drove up, we spotted a Peterbilt eighteen-wheeler parked with a big sign on it that said, “Petting Zoo.” The kids jumped up in a rush and asked, “Daddy, Daddy. Can we go? Please. Please. Can we go?”

B. “Sure,” I said, flipping them both a quarter before walking into Sears. They bolted away, and I felt free to take my time looking for a scroll saw. A petting zoo consists of a portable fence erected in the mall with about six inches of sawdust and a hundred little furry baby animals of all kinds. Kids pay their money and stay in the enclosure enraptured with the squirmy little critters while their moms and dads shop.

C. A few minutes later, I turned around and saw Helen walking along behind me. I was shocked to see she preferred the hardware department to the petting zoo. Recognizing my error, I bent down and asked her what was wrong. She looked up at me with those giant limpid brown eyes and said sadly, “Well, Daddy, it cost fifty cents. So, I gave Brandon my quarter.” Then she said the most beautiful thing I ever heard. She repeated the family motto. The family motto is in “Love is Action!”

D. She had given Brandon her quarter, and no one loves cuddly furry creatures more than Helen. She had watched Sandy take my steak and say, “Love is Action!” She had watched both of us do and say “Love is Action!” for years around the house and Kings Arrow Ranch. She had heard and seen “Love is Action,” and now she had incorporated it into her little lifestyle. It had become part of her.

E. What do you think I did? Well, not what you might think. As soon as I finished my errands, I took Helen to the petting zoo. We stood by the fence and watched Brandon go crazy petting and feeding the animals. Helen stood with her hands and chin resting on the fence and just watched Brandon. I had fifty cents burning a hole in my pocket; I never offered it to Helen, and she never asked for it.

F. Because she knew the whole family motto. It’s not “Love is Action.” It’s “Love is SACRIFICIAL Action!” Love always pays a price. Love always costs something. Love is expensive. When you love, benefits accrue to another’s account. Love is for you, not for me. Love gives; it doesn’t grab. Helen gave her quarter to Brandon and wanted to follow through with her lesson. She knew she had to taste the sacrifice. She wanted to experience that total family motto. Love is sacrificial action.

G. God invites you to join him in loving as he has loved. He has shown us what this love looks like. We have received that love. Our sins have been forgiven. Real love isn’t sentimental. Real love carries compassion and care. But real love is costly and sometimes means that the giver weeps; feels loss; but loves anyway. You say, there is nothing attractive about that kind of love? This is where we learn a new way. Do you think God watched his son die with a smile on his face? Do you think he watched his Son follow through with the plan without feeling loss? Do you think he smiles now? The price of his love brought us relationship with him and that pleases God. Will you join him in loving as he has loved? God’s love is complete when we love each other. Invitation.

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