Patriarchs of the Family

Introduction

Men have been under attack over the past three decades. Some of it was justified. There have been times when men took control of their homes with an iron fist and dared anyone to go against them. But for the most part, men have been attacked because they are men. The National Organization of Women in speech after speech have denounced men and the role of fathers in the home. Unwanted and unappreciated, men have left their families in record numbers and we now see the societal ills which have arisen from the dust of destruction. Like last week, this is not the time to rehearse our social ills. Today needs to be a day to encourage our fathers in their work as father.

Most dads want to make a difference in their home. They want their children to learn something of value from them. Most dads love their children and want the best for them. Most dads juggle work and home and worry too much about both. Most dads feel a burden to provide for the family and yet to be available for the family. Most dads take their responsibility as leader very seriously and recognize that they will be held accountable for their efforts. Most dads do not seek pats on the back, but they need them. Most dads do their work in silence. Most dads try to provide stability for their families. Most dads are misunderstood. What do dads need? They need to be appreciated. They also need to understand the impact that they make on their families.

Why Dads Are Important

The first thing that dads need is to recognize how vital they are to the family. We live in a time when dads are leaving their families. Several studies have been released within the past year that reveals something that most of us already knew—dads make a positive difference in the family. These studies reveal that fathers play a significant role in setting direction, attaining goals, providing stability and discipline, and in helping children become well adjusted. Dads, your presence and voice makes a difference. Your inner strength is needed. Your ability to face a difficult task and to stand strong is needed. Your value to the family cannot be underestimated. Watson learned that his father made the difference in his life.

Second, dads need to know their purpose. Turn in your Bibles to Deuteronomy 6. We usually come to this passage and begin reading in verse 4. By doing so we miss an important point in the earlier verses. You will recall that it has been 40 years since Israel left Egypt. The generation who left Egypt did not believe in God’s ability to give the Promised Land to them and because of their faithlessness, God made them wander in the desert for 40 years so that all those age 20 and above would die. Moses is standing on the east side of the Jordan River. He is speaking to the sons of the generation that came out of Egypt.

Notice what Moses says in verse 2. Moses says that we are to stay close to God and teach our children and grandchildren to fear the Lord. And we teach this fear by keeping God’s commands and decrees. Men, we have a purpose. It isn’t just to raise our children but it is to leave a legacy which ensures that our grandchildren follow God as well. When we raise our children to love God then they raise their children to love God. Three generations are directly affected by the way we live.

We have an awesome responsibility. We will pass on some legacy to our children. What type of legacy we pass on depends on what we value. Dads, we have a purpose and that purpose is to help our children know and love the Lord.

Third, dads need to love their children. Dads, our children need to feel our arms around them. They need to hear the words “I love you.” Our children need to feel loved. That can be hard. Some dads grew up without fathers demonstrating love. Some dads are emotionally empty and have nothing to give to their children. Part of loving our kids is for them to feel love which comes from us fathers. Our kids need hugs and they need them often. Not too long ago, I watched a teenage boy hug his dad. It wasn’t fake and it wasn’t for my benefit. It was because this young man knew his dad and was secure in demonstrating that love. That’s the challenge for us as fathers. To love our children so that they respond emotionally to us in love as well.

What Dads Need

I am convinced that most dads do their work stoically. They go to work, come home, take care of the family as best as they can, and they do it all without seeking recognition. While men have softened a bit in the last generation, most men are not going to reveal their inner feelings very often. For good or ill, part of the reason is that dads see themselves as having a job to do and revealing feelings isn’t going to change the job or in some cases may just waste needed energy to complete the task. Ladies, dads need to hear that you appreciate them for what they do. Part of what makes men good dads is that they stay focused on a task and complete it well. Most dads work and they work hard. That is part of what attracted you to them. Tell them you appreciate their work and that you appreciate their effort.

Ladies, dads not only need to hear words of appreciation, but they need to know that you still notice them. Children demand a lot of attention. And because we have good moms who want the needs of their children met, dads sometimes can get lost in the shuffle. Ladies, even with the challenge of attending to the children, dads need to know that you think about them. They need to know that they make a difference in your life. Dads need to know that they are more than a fixture in the home, but that you are grateful that they are a part of your life.

This same point was made last week in regard to moms. We forget how to honestly compliment each other. Being a parent is hard work. Most of the time the only people pulling for us is each other and if we are knocking each other around verbally, then even that bit of encouragement is lost. Dads and moms need to learn how to honestly compliment each other about their good traits. Even if you bumble along the attempt will be appreciated. Honest compliments go a long way to keeping moms and dads close. Appreciation has a way of making the tough times a bit smoother.

Dads, hug your children today. Tell them how much you love them. Learn to treasure and make the most out of every day you have with your children. Ladies, tell the dads in your life you appreciate them and convey by actions that they are valuable to your life. Dads, we are vital to the family. We have a purpose and it is to help our children learn what it means to love God. And if we fulfill our purpose then not only our children but our grandchildren will receive a legacy which we can be proud of. Let’s close with a time of prayer thanking God for fathers.

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