Matriarchs of the Family

Introduction

Being neither woman nor mother, I am ill qualified to preach about motherhood. Having a man talk about motherhood makes about as much sense as having a woman talk about fatherhood. But having 21 years with my mother full time and watching one at work on a regular basis for the last 11 plus years leaves me with some knowledge even if learned vicariously. My purpose this morning is to tell the truth about mothers. There are a lot of messages about mothers from our culture and from religious thought. Sometimes they conflict. Unfortunately, most of the time they produce unnecessary guilt.

The Bible has very little to say about motherhood. In fact, whatever it may say about mothers has more to do with mentioning a woman as a person’s mother rather than giving guidelines about motherhood. In my research, I found little written about mothers. Most of what I did find was written before the 1990s. Some religious writers lament the economic changes which have produced a 60+% workforce of mothers. Some long for the days when the mother stayed at home taking care of the home and children. We live in a time when mothers work for a variety of reasons not least of which is economic. A $20,000 home in 1965 now sells for over $80,000. A large number of single mothers now exist which means that these women must work in order to support their families.

This is not a time to rehearse the social ills of our culture. Instead, it is time to look at reality. Most mothers work, most mothers get up early, most mothers go to bed late, most mothers take care of the cooking, cleaning, washing, and tending to children. Most mothers are overworked. Most mothers have very little leisure time. Most mothers are worn out. Most mothers are just trying to survive from one day to the next. So where does God fit into this? What encouragement can be brought to our mothers this morning? Let’s think first about what mothers need.

What do Mothers Need?

Mothers are overworked and too often underappreciated. Today will be the busiest day in the restaurant business. Husbands and sons take their moms or wife out to lunch today as a way of saying thank you. But one day of keeping mom out of the kitchen leaves hundreds more. Are moms looking for lunch at a restaurant? Gifts will be given today. Flowers, candy, and other tokens of love will be given to our moms today. Are moms looking for gifts? Don’t misunderstand—such ways of celebrating are good, but moms need something more than one day of thanks. They need continual praise and encouragement. More than cards, more than gifts, more than a meal at a restaurant, our moms need something else. Most moms are often frustrated. What they really need is appreciation.

Men, what moms need is to be appreciated not just today but regularly. They need to hear some honest words of encouragement. They need us to share the load at home. They need help with chores. They need help with the kids. They need to hear from your own lips that what they do is important. And they need to hear it not just today but every day. They need to know that what they do in helping economically, cooking, cleaning, washing, and tending to the kids is appreciated.

For those who have already raised kids, they need to hear that they did a good job. That you take pride in your children and that as a woman they played a significant role in bringing the kids up. They need to hear that they made a difference; that they are important; and that life wouldn’t be nearly as good without them as wife and mother.

Men, our wives not only need to hear that we appreciate them, but they need to see that we appreciate them. By a wide margin, mothers do most of the household chores. Even working mothers do the vast majority of the household work when they return home. Men, our wives need to know that we support them in their efforts and one of the ways we can do that is to take on more of the chores at home. By taking on those chores we demonstrate that it is a team effort in raising our children and taking care of the household.

Moms need mentors. Titus 2 speaks of the older women teaching the younger women among other things “how to love their husbands and children.” One might think that such things wouldn’t have to be taught. Moms need those who have already gone through raising children to tell them what to expect. They need to know how to overcome selfishness and remain focused on helping their families. Moms need to be appreciated, help with household chores, and mentors.

Proverbs 31

Proverbs 31 is an acrostic. Each verse begins with consecutive letters of the Hebrew alphabet. This well-known text extols the role of a woman as wife, mother, and worker. The woman described is industrious, energetic, and goal oriented. She does things in such a way that the community praises her family and her family praises her. An image of the ideal woman is carefully painted.

I am convinced that most mothers do not see themselves when they read Proverbs 31. Most mothers compare themselves with this woman and throw their hands up in despair. Try as they might, they do not measure up. There is a hopelessness about trying to be like this woman. This woman makes June Cleaver appear lazy. Proverbs are wise pithy sayings. They depict general truths and are not to be read as we might read the gospels or Paul’s letters. The point of the passage is to describe a good wife and mother. She is one who works hard, focuses on her family, and places her faith in God. Such a woman is a good mother and wife. Such a description captures the spirit of the passage.

John Smith in a book for mothers summarized this text this way: “You are worth far more than rubies! You lack nothing of value. You bring good to every day. You work vigorously, and your life is profitable. You are clothed with strength and dignity! You can laugh at life. You speak with wisdom and faithful instruction; you juggle numerous roles and use your time wisely. Your children arise and call you blessed and your husband also praises you! Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all! Others also see what you do and admire your work as a Mom. Love, your God who praises you for fearing me.”

This is the point of the passage. It isn’t to create guilt or fear or a comparison mentality. It is instead to reveal that God appreciates a woman who focuses on him and her family. This passage reveals that good mothers and good wives have an unselfishness about their life that all can see. Such unselfishness eventually brings praise from her family and from God.

Who is it that athletes call by name on National Television? Who is that a small child cries out for when they fall and skin their knee? Who is the one who has the stamina to stay up half the night with a sick child only to put in a full 8 hours for an employer the next day? Mother. Today is Mother’s Day. It is a national day of celebrating the profound impact our mothers make in this world. Take her to lunch, give her a gift, tell her today how much you appreciate her and then show her tomorrow by washing the dishes, or dusting the den, or giving the kids a bath and then make that a habit.

When Jesus died on the cross he took the time to make sure that his mother was cared for. Many of you care for aging mothers. God sees that and will honor you in his time. Such unselfishness was probably taught to you by the very one who you now take care of. Let’s give thanks to God for godly mothers.

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