Ephesians 4:25-32 · Philippians 2
Let Community Begin with Me
This sermon concludes a series on Christian community by reviewing key lessons and calling listeners to personal change. The central message: authentic community begins when individual believers commit to transforming how they think, relate, and interact with one another.
Introduction
This is the last in a series of lessons on community. From the beginning my purpose has been to allow us to understand the concept of community and to try to give some flesh to that idea. At the end of this lesson there will be a time for questions and maybe a few answers. I do this because it is important that you have an opportunity to give your ideas and thoughts even as I have given mine. If we have no questions that will be alright. I want to briefly review our lessons and then make a final point or two before we have any questions.
Review
The first lesson focused on the importance of community. We defined community as the sharing of our lives together. Relationships are important to God — our relationship to him and to each other. Since God has already given us a community of believers to be a part of, then it is imperative that we seek ways to share our lives. I used as an example the possibility of families going together to visit shut-ins so that we can help them feel a part of community.
In the second lesson we noticed that God’s desire is that our assembly time be active not passive. We are to spur one another to love and good works. We can’t be encouraging love passively. Our assemblies are to be interactive times. This is extremely difficult because tradition is so comfortable. But God’s desire that we actively spur one another is not optional.
Then we turned our attention to the command by Jesus that we are to love one another. This command is not optional. He further stipulated that we are to love one another just as he loved us. We are to treat each other in the same way that he has treated us. When we love in the way that Jesus has loved us then those who do not know Jesus will be attracted to him.
If we are going to love each other then our thinking must change. We have to think in community terms not individually. Looking at Philippians 2 we noticed that community thinking means being like minded—that is, we are to have a common purpose, a common goal, the same love and the same spirit. This doesn’t mean the same opinions but that we are more interested in unity rather than individual preferences. Community thinking reflects humility. Community thinking means that we are thinking about the other person. In a community we think of “we” statements rather than “I” statements. The key to our unity is to learn to accept our differences. Preferences are not the measuring stick for deciding what is good, but we must think about others.
Then we spent a great deal of time talking about conflict. Conflict is going to arise within any community. When conflict arises then we must learn how to deal with that conflict so that we do not insult and hurt others. We looked at anger and noticed that anger isn’t bad but the usage of that anger determines sin. We discovered that conflict strengthens relationships and demands that we reexamine our beliefs in order to rediscover or discover anew truth. We continued our discussion about conflict for two or three lessons looking at ways to deal with conflict and discovering that we have to deal with issues head on but with a spirit of real care and love. Finally, we noticed too that the time will come in which our attempts to deal with conflict will still not bring resolution. In those areas in which preferences are debated, in those times in which we cannot agree on an opinion, then it is important for us to choose to lose. Choose to give in. It is far better to choose to lose than to force a way to win and lose your brother in the process.
We looked at the way to fight fair. We examined seven rules. First, stay in control—be aware of your emotions and learn to back away instead of saying something that will hurt. Second, leave the past behind—what is past is past and bringing up the past deflects from the issue. Third, give positive strokes—always begin and include in a conflict words of appreciation. Fourth, fix the problem not the blame—look for ways to work together to bring resolution rather than attaching the blame to someone. Fifth, don’t be a mind reader—we have to listen to the other person not assume that we already know what he or she believes. Sixth, leave off the labels. Seventh, no low blows—refuse to attack the other person’s Achilles heel.
Finally, we noticed that we need to speak words that we would like to have said to us. Speak words which build up and avoid words which tear down.
Final Point
Last week I mentioned that what it really takes for us to connect with one another is a willingness. A willingness to go beyond the superficial, a willingness to talk about important matters, a willingness to speak of things that strike at the cord of our spiritual lives. If we want community to exist it must begin with me. We have to look for ways to change the way we think, the way we relate, the way we interact. True discipleship is a continual commitment to change. Christians recognize that the biggest room in anybody’s life is the room for improvement. We have to change in order for community to happen.
How do we change? It begins by not blaming others. “If they would just start a small group program?” “If they would change the way they think, then we would be better off.” Real change will not occur with this kind of thinking. If “they” are the problem then the church will never change. It is far better and more truthful to say that “a better community begins with me.” As I change, the church will change. This means that every person is responsible for transformation. This means that each person can make a difference. Instead of waiting around for someone else to straighten up, for someone else to do something, for someone else to make a difference, individual Christians take it upon themselves to be the catalyst for change.
When it comes to loving others, we are not what we ought to be. None of us is beyond the need for change. Aspects of our personalities have not been remade into God’s image. Our attitudes about relationships often smack more of the world than of Christ. And each one of us does things in the heat of conflict that are more like the world than Jesus. This is the beginning of change. Acknowledging that we are not what we used to be and acknowledging that we are not what we ought to be means that we are leaving room for God to make us into what we can be. We welcome those changes because we want God to make us more and more into the image of his son, Jesus. So God is working on you and he is working on me. Let’s be patient with each other in the meantime.
If you want a more close community then let it begin with you. There is no need for the congregation to implement another program although a program can be implemented. You can look for others who are craving love and start to love them as Christ has loved you. If you want to see more hospitality then you begin by inviting folks to your home. You practice hospitality. Do we want a more accepting congregation? Then broaden your range for friendships and learn to love those who need love the most. Why complain about what others are failing to do? Get busy. Nothing hinders us from building relationships more than our own unwillingness. If you begin, others will join. One who has a clear vision for what can be will encourage others to join and one by one change will take place.
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