God's Single Servants

Introduction

According to the 2006 U.S. Statistical Abstract, which is a compilation of census data, there are 55.3 million people over the age of 18 who have never been married. This is equal to about 25% of the entire over 18 population in America. When we include those who are divorced, widows, or widowers, then we must add another 36.7 million people. Put these groups together and almost 42% of our current American population is single. These are the unmarried. Many of those who have never married will marry. But the reality is that crossing all age ranges and life experiences, single Christians are a vital force within the body of Christ.

Today’s lesson is on God’s single servants. There are three prongs to this lesson. First, I want to address those of us who are not single. I want us who are married to think about how unwittingly we treat those who are single. Second, I want to address those who are single. I want us to look at what God wants for your life as his child. Third, I want us to look at what Paul says in 1 Corinthians about married and single alike.

Regarding Singles

You know how I wanted to introduce this message? I wanted to ask all those who’ve never married to stand and then say to them: “What’s wrong with you?” The intent would be to shock the rest of us into reconsidering how rudely we sometimes treat our single brothers and sisters. Too often we look at them as second-class citizens, and when we do that we’re really missing it. Sometimes we unintentionally send the message that to really matter you have to be married and better yet have children. Family series and series like it in previous years often focus on marriage, raising children, parenting, and in the process our singles may feel left out and unimportant.

I don’t think most Christians really have grasped the biblical validity of being single, and so we treat singles with an accidental disrespect. We’ve convinced ourselves of certain untruths about singles: that all singles want to be married; that all singles want to spend all their time only with other singles; that all singles have few commitments and have a ton of free time; that all singles are clueless about children; that all singles are undependable, undesirable, and immature; and that God will always bring a spouse to every single who is praying and living a godly life. None of these statements are true!

Many of us unconsciously or subconsciously have come to look at singles as a work in progress. A single person will be complete when, and only when, they get married. As a result we say some hurtful things, though well-intentioned: “Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Why not?” “How’s your love life?” “Anyone special in your life?” “Why isn’t someone like you married yet?” “I’m praying God will lead you to a nice, Christian guy/girl.” “Too bad he/she isn’t married.”

Then it is even worse as people age without getting married. There are the feeling-sorry-for-you looks; the labels like “old maid” or “spinster” or “old bachelor.” Singles! Don’t you just cringe when you hear those things? Parents do it, friends do it, distant relatives do it, even the checker at Walmart does it. We must accept the legitimacy of singleness. We must because there are some singles whose circumstances essentially prevent them from having the opportunity to marry, others prefer not to change, still others because they truly believe they can better serve God as a single than as married. Those people have 1 Corinthians 7 figured out; the rest of us need to stay after school and do some extra studying.

We need to accept the legitimacy of singleness primarily because the Bible does in Matthew 19:12. Jesus himself said: “Others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven.” Jesus never married, nor did Paul or John the Baptist. Jesus said that he’d give us a life full of purpose and meaning, not a family with a good-looking spouse and 2.3 children. The Bible talks a whole lot more about being a family of believers in which needs are met in love regardless of biological ties. That means that we have a responsibility to others outside our immediate family. That means that singles must be valued. They do have a family. Now the challenge for us who are not single is for us to treat them like family—not out of pity, but out of love and respect. In other words, we should be treating singles like everyone else.

When they suffer, we’re there for them to turn to, and we suffer, too. When they are lonely or just want to watch the ballgame with someone, we open our homes to them. When we go to a movie, we invite them. We celebrate birthdays and promotions with them. We pray for them—not necessarily for them to get married—but for them to be fulfilling God’s will in their lives. We get to know them, become their friend, not because they are a project, but because they, too, are a person created in God’s image and who therefore has incredible worth, and because you and they just may grow through the experience.

For Singles

To our singles, no matter your age or your situation—no matter if you are single by choice or not by choice—there is a spiritual word for you as well.

God has a plan for you regardless of your age or marital status. God has a plan for you before you marry. Don’t sit on the sideline of church life and say, “I’ll serve after I’m married.” God has a plan for you even if you never marry.

Sometimes God uses you to minister in ways that a married person can’t or won’t. There are times when a single woman can reach out to a single woman better than a married woman and certainly more prudently than a married man.

Being single is not God’s curse on you! God knows your feelings and he understands your desires. Is God leading you to a mate? Or is God’s desire that you remain single? Like anyone going through a time of uncertainty, we learn to wait on God and allow his time to be the guiding force. This takes patient endurance and much prayer. Don’t focus on finding the right person. Focus on your relationship with God and allow him to do what he will with your life.

Trust God’s timing—it’s always perfect. God knows you better than you know you. So trust him to bring purpose and meaning to your life. His purpose in your life is not so much to make you happy, but to make you usable for him.

Anxiety

Let’s briefly look at our text as we summarize our discussion. Paul’s discussion in 1 Corinthians 7 is designed to answer a number of questions which comes from the church in Corinth. In this particular chapter, Paul is dealing with questions concerning marriage. We can only guess at the specific questions in many cases, but we can determine some basic truths: not being married is good (v. 1); marriage is good (v. 2); sex within marriage is good (vv. 4-5); and being unmarried is a gift from God (vv. 6-7).

Now let’s stop right there. Singleness may not seem like much of a gift. There are some real challenges with being single. Just as there are real challenges with being married. So Paul explains a bit more in verses 29-35. Some have taken verse 29 literally. Paul isn’t giving permission for a husband to ignore his wife. Nor is he suggesting that whatever emotion you have to exhibit the opposite. Instead, verse 31 is the key to this section. As Christians we are to look toward eternity. This world is passing away. It is temporary. Paul’s desire is to free God’s children from concern. The word concern is better understood as anxiety. Living in this world we get mixed up with the day-in-and-day-out part of existing. As such there are numerous times that the cares of this world distract us from our walk with God at worst and our thinking about God at best. Paul wants such distractions remedied.

His point is that marriage is okay. Nothing wrong with it. But it brings more distractions. For Christians who are trying to live with an eye to the next world, trying to live with an eye on the heavenly prize, being married is one more distraction. Paul’s desire is for God’s children to be free from anxiety. Being married or unmarried doesn’t make a person closer to God. Being unmarried removes one more distraction. Thus, singleness is preferred because it encourages a greater eye toward the heavenly prize. But the summation of the entire text is verse 35—“I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.” And when it is all said and done, whether we are single or married, whether we are single by choice or not by choice, whether we struggle in our marriage or in our singleness, God’s desire is that we live realizing that this world is passing away and that our devotion is to be given to the Lord.

To our singles, I am thankful for you. Thank you for overlooking and tolerating us married folks who unintentionally hurt you with our words and actions. You are evidence of grace and mercy within this congregation. To us married folks, we must see our single brothers and sisters as more than one who is without a partner. There is one final truth. When it is all said and done, we will stand as individuals before God. Our marriage nor our singleness will be an issue. How we have treated one another will be. This world is passing away and our undivided devotion belongs only to God.

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