Ephesians 5:21-33 · Genesis 2:24 · 2 Samuel 5:1
God's Intention for Marriage
Marriage is a covenant relationship that mirrors Christ's relationship with the church, calling spouses to mutual submission, loyalty, and honor as a spiritual reflection of divine love.
Introduction
A. In our culture marriage has become the source of any number of jokes. Comedians have said that marriage will drive one crazy, that’s the reason it is called an institution. Henny Youngman, a comedian unknown to our younger folks, used to say “Take my wife…please.” Red Skelton used to tell the joke that he and his wife went out to eat twice a week. She goes out on Tuesday and I go out on Thursday.
B. Maybe you have heard the one about the minister who standing before the bride and groom knows how to take romance out of a wedding when he says “and as your marriage begins, the time of being your own worst critic comes to an end.” The jokes abound. The jokes remind us that marriage is at times humorous. There are plenty of times that a couple will find something to laugh about—the pettiness, the incidents, the differences in personality—all provide fuel for humor. But the jokes also create a false impression as well. The jokes create an impression that marriage is laughable; that it is something that can be demeaned without consequence.
C. God’s intent for marriage is far from demeaning. God’s view of marriage exalts marriage and exalts the couple. God gives spiritual meaning to the marriage even if the couple ignores, overlooks, or is ignorant of the spiritual. As we study today, we are going to revisit God’s intent for marriages. May we still find the humor in marriage while hearing the call of God.
Creation
A. Let’s begin with Genesis 2. God has created a man. The man is given work, food, and a place to live. But in this setting the man’s loneliness is highlighted. Relationship is missing. And so God brings all the animals to the man to name them. This naming process gives dominion but it also amplifies that no suitable helper is found for Adam. This experience amplifies the man’s loneliness and it prepares him to receive God’s gift—a helper suitable for him. Just as a side note the word helper is the same word as used in other texts to describe God. Thus, this helper is not inferior to the man any more than God is inferior when helping.
B. The text tells us that this helper is brought to the man and we have the first recorded words spoken by Adam. The words are spoken not in deep reverence but in exaltation and thankfulness. His words are covenant words. The same phrasing is used in 2 Samuel 5:1 when the tribes of Israel came to David at Hebron to express their loyalty to him. They collectively said “We are your own flesh and bone (NIV translates blood).” Adam’s statement to the woman is a statement of loyalty. Of a “no matter what” we are together.
C. And then we are given the words of 2:24 which is the author’s explanation of marriage. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” The word “leave” is the word “forsake.” It is the word that is used to describe Israel’s rejection of the covenant with God. And the word “united” is the word “cling” which is used to designate the maintenance of the covenant. We have covenant language in these two verses. The man’s statement of covenant and loyalty. And then God’s pronouncement of marriage as a leaving behind the parental relationship and the forming of a new covenant with a spouse. And with this new covenant comes oneness. Understood to be brought about through sexual relations but more than that. This oneness is found not only through sexual union but the merger of lives in all ways. Two distinct people who are in loyal covenant to one another. This was God’s intent and still is God’s desire.
D. This text in Genesis 2:24 has served as a foundational text to help us understand God’s desire for marriage. But let me be clear—marriage is a covenant. It is a blessing from God. This covenant of marriage takes precedence over other covenant relationships specifically the parent relationship. If God allows, our children are supposed to leave us and form a loyalty covenant with a spouse. This was and is God’s desire. The Genesis 2:24 text is used several times in the New Testament but one use is particularly intriguing.
Filled with the Spirit
A. One of the texts that quotes Genesis 2:24 is found in Ephesians 5. This section begins with the idea of mutual submission found in 5:18 in which the believers are told to be filled with the Spirit. As a result of being filled with the Spirit, the believers will communicate with each other through singing, being thankful, and submitting to one another because of their awe of Christ. This mutual submission spills over into the household rules which follow.
B. Mutual submission implies humility; a voluntary yielding to each other. This is only possible when one is filled with the Spirit. Paul gives a great deal of attention to the functions of wife and husband in marriage. Paul spends a great deal of time discussing the roles of wife and husband in relationship with each other. The wife is compared to the church and the husband is compared to Christ. The wife/husband relationship is to mimic the relationship between the church and Christ.
C. Here is the interesting part. In verse 31, Paul quotes Genesis 2:24. The text which reveals God’s desire for marriage—a forsaking of other covenant for the loyalty of the covenant between husband and wife producing oneness. The couple is two distinct units who are cemented together. But Paul follows in verse 32 that this is a profound mystery. The word mystery as previously used means a secret which God has revealed. What is the secret? Paul says I am talking about Christ and the church. What is his point? Marriage is a representation of the relationship between Christ and the church.
D. In fact, the oneness between Christ and the church is found in the oneness between husband and wife. This is the mystery which only God can unveil. In some way, marriage looks like the relationship between Christ and the church. In some way, marriage’s intimacy is a reflection of the intimacy between Christ and the church. The covenant of marriage is similar to the covenant between Christ and the church. Paul’s use of Genesis 2:24 is to give fuller meaning of God’s intent for marriage. On this earth, it is marriage which allows for us to gain insight to the closeness of the relationship between Christ and the church.
So What?
A. First, this means that marriage is spiritual whether the couple recognizes such or not. To enter into marriage means that we enter into that mysterious relationship which demands our loyalty just as the relationship between Christ and the church is one of mutual loyalty.
B. Second, this means that we are to take great care to honor our spouse. As the church honors Christ and Christ honors the church, so spouses are to honor one another. In the abbreviated words of Walter Wangerin: Marriage is not romanticized in the creation account. Marriage is practical. One was help-LESS and the other is the helper. Which means that marriage was not the end but a preparation. Getting married means that we learn to admit our helplessness and the need for the other person. This means seeing our spouse as God’s gift to us. It means taking great care with our gift. Not to treat the gift as disposable; an imposition; to be taken for granted; to be used indiscriminately; or to be merely tolerated. But like all gifts cherished, honored, adored, and respected.
C. May we like the first man speak words of loyalty to our spouse and then live each day in holy demonstration of the relationship between Christ and the church. For this is God’s desire for marriage. Let’s pray. Invitation.
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