God's Desire for Singles

Introduction

According to the 2020 U.S. Census 46.4% of the U.S. population over the age of 18 is single. This represents 117.6 million people and includes those who have never married, divorced, and widowed. Crossing all age ranges and life experiences, single Christians are a vital force within the body of Christ. Today’s lesson is on God’s single servants. There are three prongs to this lesson. First, I want to address those of us who are not single. I want us who are married to think about how unwittingly we treat those who are single. Second, I want to address those who are single. I want us to look at what God wants for your life as his child. Third, I want us to look at what Paul says in 1 Corinthians about married and single alike.

Thinking About Singles

Those of us who are married may view our single siblings through a different lens. Sometimes we unintentionally send the message that to really matter you have to be married and better yet have children. Family series and series like it in previous years, often focus on marriage, raising children, parenting, and in the process our singles may feel left out and unimportant.

I don’t think most Christians really have grasped the biblical validity of being single, and so we treat singles with an accidental disrespect. We’ve convinced ourselves of certain truths about singles:

that all singles want to be married

that all singles want to spend all their time only with other singles,

that all singles have few commitments and have a ton of free time,

that all singles are clueless about children,

that God will always bring a spouse to every single who is praying and living a godly life.

None of these statements are true! Many of us unconsciously or subconsciously have come to look at singles as a work in progress. A single person will be complete when, and only when, they get married. As a result we say some hurtful things (though well-intentioned):

• do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? WHY NOT?
• anyone special in your life?
• why isn’t someone like you married yet?
• I’m praying God will lead you to a nice, Christian guy/girl.
• too bad he/she isn’t married.

Perhaps it is with almost half of the population being single that we have become more accepting of the legitimacy of singleness. We must because there are some singles whose circumstances essentially prevent them from having the opportunity to marry, others prefer not to change, still others because they truly believe they can better serve God as a single than as married.

We need to accept the legitimacy of singleness primarily because the Bible does in Matt. 19:12. Jesus Himself said: Others have renounced marriage because of the Kingdom of heaven. Jesus never married, nor did Paul or John the Baptizer. Jesus said that He’d give us a life full of purpose and meaning, not a family with a good-looking spouse and 2.3 children. The Bible talks a whole lot more about being a family of believers in which needs are met in love regardless of biological ties. That means that we have a responsibility to others outside our immediate family. That means that singles must be valued. They do have a family. Now the challenge for us who are not single is for us to treat them like family.

• When they suffer, we’re there for them to turn to, and we suffer, too.
• When they are lonely—or just want to watch the ballgame with someone—we open our homes to them.
• We celebrate birthdays and promotions with them.
• We pray for them—not necessarily for them to get married—but for them to be fulfilling God’s will in their lives.
• We get to know them… become their friend because you and they just may grow through the experience.

God’s Word for Singles

To our singles, no matter your age or your situation. No matter if you are single by choice or not by choice, there is a spiritual word for you as well.

• God has a plan for you—regardless of your age or marital status. Don’t sit on the sideline of church life. God has a plan for you as you are. If you are able invite others to join you for dinner or an event. Don’t wait to be asked but initiate the asking.

• Sometimes God uses you to minister in ways that a married person can’t or won’t. There are times when a single woman can reach out to a single woman better than a married woman and certainly more prudently than a married man.

• Being single is not a curse. God knows your feelings and He understands your desires. Like anyone going through a time of uncertainty we learn to wait on God and allow his time to be the guiding force. This takes patient endurance and much prayer. Focus on your relationship with God and allow Him to do what he will with your life.

• Trust God’s timing—it’s always perfect. God knows you better than you know you. Trusting him brings purpose and meaning. Seek to allow him to make you useable in his kingdom and God will provide the way and you will find great joy in following his direction.

Anxiety

Let’s briefly look at our text as we summarize our discussion. Paul’s discussion in 1 Corinthians 7 is designed to answer a number of questions which comes from the church in Corinth. In this particular chapter, Paul is dealing with questions concerning marriage. We can only guess at the specific questions in many cases, but we can determine some basic truths.

• Not being married is good (v.1).
• Marriage is good (v. 2).
• Sex within marriage is good (v.4-5).
• Being unmarried is a gift from God (v. 6-7).

Singleness may not seem like much of a gift. There are some real challenges with being single just as there are in being married. So Paul explains a bit more in verses 29-35. Some have taken verse 29 literally. Paul isn’t giving permission for a husband to ignore his wife. Nor is he suggesting to exhibit opposite emotions of what you have. Instead verse 31 is the key to this section. As Christians we are to look toward eternity. This world is passing away. It is temporary. Paul’s desire is to free God’s children from concern. The word concern (v. 32) is better understood as anxiety. Living in this world we get mixed up with the day in and day out part of existing. As such there are numerous times that the cares of this world distract us from our walk with God. Paul wants such distractions remedied.

His point is that marriage is okay. Nothing wrong with it. But it brings more distractions. For Christians who are trying to live with an eye on the heavenly prize, being married is one more distraction. Paul’s desire is for God’s children to be free from anxiety. Being married or unmarried doesn’t make a person closer to God. Being unmarried removes one more distraction. Thus, singleness is preferred because it encourages a greater eye toward the heavenly prize. But the summation of the entire text is verse 35 — “I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.” And when it is all said and done whether we are single or married; whether we are single by choice or not by choice; whether we struggle in our marriage or in our singleness, God’s desire is that we live realizing that this world is passing away and that our devotion is to be given to the Lord.

To our singles, I am thankful for you. You are evidence of grace and mercy within this congregation. There is a one final truth. When it is all said and done, we will stand as individuals before God. Our marriage nor our singleness will be an issue. How we have treated one another will be. This world is passing away and our undivided devotion belongs only to God. Invitation.

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