God's Desire for Singles | Dana C. Baldwin

Introduction

A. According to the 2008 U.S. Statistical Abstract which is a compilation of census data, there are 58 million people over the age of 18 who have never been married. This is equal to about 25% of the entire over 18 population. When we include those who are divorced, widows, or widowers, then we must add another 36 million people. Put these groups together and 42% of our current American population is single. These are the unmarried. Many of those who have never married will marry. But the reality is that crossing all age ranges and life experiences, single Christians are a vital force within the body of Christ.

B. Today’s lesson is on God’s desire for singles. There are three prongs to this lesson. First, I want to address those of us who are not single. I want us who are married to think about how we treat those who are single. Second, I want to address those who are single. I want us to look at what God wants for your life as his child. Third, I want us to look at what Paul says in 1 Corinthians about married and single alike.

Regarding Singles

A. I don’t think most Christians really have grasped the biblical validity of being single. We have sent the message that being married is the only means by which to honor God. Our reasoning goes something like this. The Bible says that it isn’t good for man to be alone. God’s remedy is marriage; thus, marriage is good and all should desire to be married. We even take it a step further by saying that only in marriage is one made complete. Sadly this makes those unmarried feel left out at best and at worst that there is something spiritually wrong with them.

B. Many of us unconsciously or subconsciously have come to look at singles as a work in progress. A single person will be complete when, and only when, they get married. As a result we say some hurtful things (though well-intentioned)

i. do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? WHY NOT? ii. anyone special in your life? iii. why isn’t someone like you married yet? iv. I’m praying God will lead you to a nice, Christian guy/girl. v. too bad he/she isn’t married. vi. I have someone you need to meet.

C. Then it is even worse as people age without getting married. There are the feeling sorry for you looks; the labels like “old maid” or “spinster” or “old bachelor.” Singles! Don’t you just cringe when you hear those things? Parents do it, friends do it, distant relatives do it, even the checker at Wal-Mart does it. We must accept the legitimacy of singleness. We must because God endorses singleness. Singles have 1 Corinthians 7 figured out, the rest of us need to stay after school and do some extra studying.

D. We need to accept the legitimacy of singleness primarily because the Bible does in Matt. 19:12. Jesus Himself said: Others have renounced marriage because of the Kingdom of heaven. Jesus never married, nor did Paul or John the Baptizer. Jesus said that He’d give us a life full of purpose and meaning, not a family with a good-looking spouse and 2.3 children. The Bible talks a whole lot more about being a family of believers in which needs are met in love regardless of biological ties. That means that we have a responsibility to others outside our immediate family. That means that singles must be valued. They do have a family. Now the challenge for us who are not single is for us to treat them like family—not out of pity, but out of love and respect. In other words, we should be treating singles like everyone else.

When they suffer, we’re there for them to turn to, and we suffer, too.
When they are lonely—or just want to watch the ballgame with someone—we open our homes to them.
When we go to a movie, we invite them.
We celebrate birthdays and promotions with them.
We pray for them—not necessarily for them to get married—but for them to be fulfilling God’s will in their lives.
We get to know them…become their friend…not because they are a project, but because they, too, are a person created in God’s image and who therefore has incredible worth…and because you and they just may grow through the experience.

The Text

A. Let’s briefly look at our text as we summarize our discussion. Paul’s discussion in 1 Corinthians 7 is designed to answer a number of questions which comes from the church in Corinth. In this particular chapter, Paul is dealing with questions concerning marriage. But in verses 8 & 9 Paul writes that being unmarried is a good thing even as getting married is a good thing. In fact, Paul says in verse 7 that being single is a gift from God just as marriage is a gift from God.

B. Now let’s stop right there. Singleness may not seem like much of a gift. There are some real challenges with being single. Just as there are real challenges with being married. So Paul explains a bit more in verses 29–35. Some have taken verse 29 literally. Paul isn’t giving permission for a husband to ignore his wife. Nor is he suggesting that whatever emotion you have to exhibit the opposite. Instead verse 31 is the key to this section. As Christians we are to look toward eternity. This world is passing away. It is temporary. Paul’s desire is to free God’s children from concern. The word concern is better understood as anxiety. Living in this world we get mixed up with the day in and day out part of existing. As such there are numerous times that the cares of this world distract us from our walk with God at worst and our thinking about God at best. Paul wants such distractions remedied.

C. His point is that marriage is okay. Nothing wrong with it. But it brings more distractions. For Christians who are trying to live with an eye to the next world, being married is one more distraction. Paul’s desire is for God’s children to be free from anxiety. Being married or unmarried doesn’t make a person closer to God. Being unmarried removes one more distraction. Thus, singleness is preferred because it encourages a greater eye toward the heavenly prize. But the summation of the entire text is verse 35 — “I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.” And when it is all said and done whether we are single or married; God’s desire is that we live realizing that this world is passing away and that our devotion is to be given to the Lord.

For Singles

A. To our singles, no matter your age or your situation.

B. God has a plan for you—regardless of your age or marital status. God has a plan for you before you marry. Don’t sit on the sideline of church life and say, “I’ll serve after I’m married.” God has a plan for you as a single person.

C. Sometimes God uses you to minister in ways that a married person can’t or won’t. There are times when a single woman can reach out to a single woman better than a married woman and certainly more prudently than a married man.

D. Being single is not God’s curse on you! God knows your feelings and He understands your desires. Is God leading you to a mate? Or is God’s desire that you remain single? Like anyone going through a time of uncertainty we learn to wait on God and allow his time to be the guiding force. This takes patient endurance and much prayer. Don’t focus on finding the right person. Focus on your relationship with God and allow Him to do what he will with your life.

Trust God’s timing—it’s always perfect. God knows you better than you know you. So trust Him to bring purpose and meaning to your life. His purpose in your life is not so much to make you happy, but to make you useable for Him.
To our singles, I am thankful for you. Thank you for overlooking and tolerating us married folks who hurt you with our words and actions. You are evidence of grace and mercy within this congregation. To us married folks, we must see our single brothers and sisters as more than one who is without a partner. There is a one final truth. When it is all said and done, we will stand as individuals before God. Our marriage nor our singleness will be an issue. How we have treated one another will be. This world is passing away and our undivided devotion belongs only to God.

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