God's Desire for Communication

Introduction

A. Technology has changed the way we interact with each other. Time will tell if our current ways of interacting will make this a better world. There are certainly advantages and disadvantages. This new form of interacting with others is called social networking. It is fascinating to be able to speak for instance to missionaries in other parts of the world almost instantaneously rather than waiting for a hand delivered airmail letter. You may be familiar with such social network vehicles as You Tube, Twitter, and Facebook. All designed to assist in making communication instant and informative. I asked one of my classes recently to hold up their hands if they had more than 200 “friends” on Facebook. Several did. I’m not sure I understand that dynamic. 200 friends would be difficult to maintain much less have quality interaction but then I suppose that is part of the advantage of Facebook. Write a short message to someone and you feel connected.

B. Perhaps that is one of the disadvantages of our current social networking. Short messages do not always capture the heart of a person nor really communicate well with another. As a sign of the times a college student was telling his teacher that he had asked his girlfriend to marry him. What did she say? asked the teacher. “I don’t know,” responded the student. “She hasn’t emailed me yet.”

C. I want to speak about communication especially within families today. The word “communication” does not exist in the Bible. But the Bible does use the word “speak” and there are numerous texts which reveal how we are to speak to one another as well as the value of our words. Communication is as much about how we say words as it is about the words. One can make a request of another pleasantly or in a condemning way. “Would you please pick up your socks?” can be said in several different ways. Emphasize the word “please” and say it with disgust or sarcasm says much more than when said pleasantly.

D. As we study today, let’s be reminded that our God has spoken to us through Jesus. He is the exact representation of God’s nature and character. Through Jesus, God wants us to hear his compassion, love, mercy, and his call to draw near to him. May we hear his call today.

Communication in the Home

A. A little girl and a little boy were at day care. The girl approaches the boy and says, “Hey Tommy, wanna play house?” He says, “Sure! What do you want me to do?” The girl replies, “I want you to communicate your thoughts.” “Communicate my thoughts?” said a bewildered Tommy. “I have no idea what that means.” The little girl smirks and says, “Perfect. You can be the husband.”

B. Perhaps that story depicts how our culture thinks about communication in the home. Women do it well and men don’t have a clue. Instead of thinking one is better at communicating than another let’s start with the premise that men and women communicate differently. Different means of communicating are simply that—different; not better than another. Everyone can get better at communicating but the different ways in which individuals communicate means that we must learn to appreciate those differences rather than condemning those differences. Men tend to communicate for solutions; women tend to communicate for relationships. Men often complain that women talk things to death; women often complain that men do not talk enough. Which one is right? Just different.

C. But God in his word hasn’t spoken about the differences between men and women in speaking. In fact, he speaks of how those who belong to him are to speak at all times. Whether male or female, God has not left us in the dark about how to use our words and how to receive them.

1. In Proverbs 4:20, the father speaking to his son says "My son, pay attention to what I say: listen closely to my words." The first thing for us to notice is that real communication takes place when not only are words spoken but words are heard. In the same section, the writer says that the words are to be kept in his heart and that the words contain life. Real communication takes place when the words spoken are heard, received, and treasured.

2. A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up. "Oh, we'll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship," the wife explained. "He was a communications major in college and I majored in theater arts." "He communicates real well and I just act like I'm listening."

3. To treasure the words of one who is speaking increases communication. Most of the time we are so worried about how we are going to respond that we don't really listen to the words. To be distracted while someone speaks to us is to suggest that the person isn't important. To respond to someone's communication with a question whose answer was given in the words just spoken is to prove that you are not listening.

D. But the text doesn’t just tell us how to receive the words that are spoken but how to speak. In 4:24, the writer says “Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips.” Our speech is to be free of deceit and crookedness. In other words, our speech is to be direct without hidden messages or words which intentionally leave the wrong impression.

1. We have a phrase in our culture which captures the idea—shoot straight. When used in reference to our speech it has the idea of being direct so that the meaning cannot be missed. How unfair it is for us to speak in riddles leaving our family to try to figure out what we mean. Even more unfair is to speak in riddles only to hold it against our family when they cannot figure out the intent. Speak directly. Do not allow your words to mislead. "Let's stay home vs. you look tired."

2. To speak directly doesn't give us permission to speak harshly. In Proverbs 12:18, the writer says "Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." Additionally, in Proverbs 16:24, the writer says: "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." Speaking directly doesn't give us permission to speak harshly. Instead we are to speak with kindness and pleasantly. Such words bring life to the inner person; harsh words take away life. In Proverbs 17:1, the writer says "Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting with strife." Households filled with strife and wealth mean very little. Speak kindly to one another.

E. Finally, James says in 4:11 that we are not to slander one another or to speak evil of one another. James writes in the context of explaining why fights and quarrels occur between fellow believers. One of the ways that he speaks of dealing with such is to control what you say about another person. Do you think that can apply to families as well? We think about congregational life but what about this verse and all the other verses exclude the family? Shouldn’t we attempt to speak kindly to our family; to refuse to speak evil against our family; to listen to the words of family members as treasures to be kept rather than discarded without thinking?

F. The differences in communication allow us to be stronger families if we will see those differences as God given rather than criticized for not being the same as we are. God’s desire is that communication in families be that of respect, care, and treasuring the words spoken. Prayer.

G. Invitation. Hebrews 1 says that God has spoken to us through Jesus and that Jesus is the exact representation of God character and nature. As such God invites us to draw near to him through Jesus.

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