God's Desire for Children

Introduction

A. Children come into this world with no instruction manual. Unlike automakers who with each model have an owner’s manual, children come into this world without such. The Bible has much to say about raising children but it deals primarily in general principles. These principles are invaluable and demonstrate God’s intent that parents bring their children into connection with him. But the Bible does not promise nor guarantee that children will follow their parents in faith. In fact, there are texts which promise that each person is going to be held responsible for his actions rather than holding parents accountable for the decisions of their children.

B. Parents do not have an owner’s manual either. Children cannot take such a document off the shelf and read about how to deal with their parents. But children learn how to “read” their parents over time just as parents do their children. Just as in raising children, God has some general principles for children in regards to their parents. It isn’t that only parents have responsibilities in a household so do children and today we will look at God’s desire for children.

C. The relationship between children and their parents is a subject often discussed by both sides. Children especially teens tend to discuss their parents with friends and parents discuss their children with others. In those discussions we often speak of unmet expectations and desires that changes would take place. We might speak of parents releasing control and parents may speak of children learning to be more respectful. Such conversations occur at home but too often without either side really listening to each other. As we study today, let’s remember that God’s desire is that all families exist to honor him. As Christians we want our families to be a demonstration of grace, forgiveness, and acceptance. All the things we received from God are the very things which we need to give to others whether parents or children. Let’s praise our God for his grace, forgiveness, and acceptance.

The Text

A. Ephesians 6:1-3 comes in a section in which Paul describes what it looks like to be God’s church in various settings. To live as children of light, we are to speak certain ways, treat others in certain ways, and above all imitate God’s love as he has loved us. A tall order to be sure. But it is from this idea of being children of light that Paul moves into how the family household is to interact. We have looked at the latter part of chapter 5 in regards to husbands and wives. The first part of chapter 6 addresses how children and fathers are to interact.

B. Just as Paul has done previously, 6:1 begins with the word signifying who his target audience is. In 5:22, he used the words “Wives.” By doing so he left no doubt who was to receive this word. In 6:1, the word is “children.” Paul is addressing those who are part of the household who are not adults. The letter would have been read orally and thus only those old enough to understand the words would have been expected to respond to Paul’s words. What is of great interest to us is that counter to the cultural practices of the time, Paul writes demonstrating that children have responsibilities in the family. Culturally, children had little say or response to the family. The father was in complete charge of his family.

C. So let’s make this absolutely clear. If you are a child living at home and can understand Paul’s words, then you have a responsibility as God’s child to listen and follow these words. Here is God’s word for children. Obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. The phrase “in the Lord” has been debated. Is Paul suggesting that obedience is only to be with parents in the Lord? No. Is Paul suggesting that obedience is only necessary when it follows God’s intent? While that it isn’t the intent, it should be understood that Paul never endorsed doing the wrong thing in order to do the right thing. So what is the point? In a parallel text in Col. 3:20, Paul says that children are to obey their parents in everything because this pleases the Lord. The phrase “in the Lord” carries the same idea.

D. Obey your parents as you would obey the Lord. Obey your parents because you are in the Lord. Obey your parents because it pleases the Lord. While said differently, they are all very similar and carry the idea which Paul has in mind. The key to what Paul writes is not “in the Lord.” This is the reason. But the instruction or command is “obey.” To listen to and follow their instruction. The word even carries a secondary meaning of “to submit” which fits well with Paul’s overall reference to mutual submission in 5:21. The point is simply this — Children your role in the family is to be obedient. When you obey your parents you please God. Your obedience demonstrates your maturity of faith. It is the right thing to do.

E. Paul quotes the fifth commandment to honor your father and mother and the promise that a long life would go along with honoring your parents. The idea isn’t that to dishonoring your parents would result in a quick death but that discretion in how one treats parents would also result in discretion in living life thus producing in general a longer life. So what does this mean?

Application

A. First, obedience is a mark of your walk with God. The truth obedience occurs in more places than just the home. As students, obedience is expected at school. As an employee, obedience is expected. As one who wants to honor God, obedience is expected. So it is in the home. Obedience demands a willingness to submit your will to another. Obedience is about the will. To put it another way disobedience is an expression of willfully ignoring the will of God for your life. Such rebellion signals that you believe yourself to be smarter than God. This is God’s desire for you as children. Follow the high calling that God has placed on you.

B. Second, think about the long term not the short term. As human beings we are prone to think very much about the short term. We think only about the immediate rather than thinking about long term consequences and results. Children are no different. There are times when your parents instruct about something. They may be thinking long term or short term. To be told to clean your room is short term but learning how to organize and keep things tidy is a long term lesson which will serve you well. Children allow the possibility that your parents may have long term in mind. We know that the human brain does not come close to maturity until age 24 or so. Some, of course, mature more quickly than others but Paul’s instructions to children focused on the long term not just the immediate.

C. Third, honoring your mother and father is a life-long calling. To honor your parents says something about you. To honor is to attach value. To honor your parents means that you attach value to them. How are you demonstrating that you value your parents? We have just passed mother’s and father’s day. Real honor is not once a year. It is regular and consistent. To honor your parents is your job. Make sure they know that you value them.

1.  Speak with kindness rather than disrespect.

2.  Express love in words and deeds.

3.  Recognize that their motives are good not to ruin your life.

4.  Treat your parents as well as you treat your friends.

5.  Remember that how you honor your parents says something about how much you honor God. It is by his mercy that you has given you parents. Imperfect just as you are imperfect but wanting to honor God just as you want to honor him as well.

D. Prayer and invitation.

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