Avoiding Sexual Temptation

Introduction

Who we are is not found in what we do but in the heart of each one of us. Our behaviors can reveal the heart; our behaviors can be true or false. We can pretend to be something we are not. We can convince people that we are genuine when in fact we know in our hearts that we are false. The definition of integrity remains true—who you are when no one is looking.

Few subjects are more profound in our culture than sex. We cannot avoid the subject nor the images associated with the subject. Even if a person chooses to reject the Internet, television, audio media, magazines, and the newspaper, a person cannot avoid the sexual images in our culture. From the passive such as billboards to the active participation of those who dress provocatively, we cannot avoid the sexual images in our culture.

There are some subjects which must be preached because to say nothing is to allow the world to have all the words. While today’s lesson may make some uncomfortable, it isn’t intended to do that. Today’s lesson is to use Proverbs 7 to focus on God’s view of sexuality. Specifically, in a world where sexual temptation is ever present, today’s lesson is to give some specific ways for us to avoid sexual temptation. This is a subject that is hidden in the heart. It is possible for a person to have an image that hides the sexual struggle. It is the heart that I want to talk to this morning. In Proverbs 7:3, the father says to his son, “write these words of wisdom on the tablet of your heart.” We all write something on our hearts. We choose what to write. I am trusting today that you will allow God’s word to be written on your heart.

Attitudes

We are going to approach the text so that both men and women can see their heart. This is a time for each person to make an honest appraisal of your heart. Do not allow your mind to go to another person. This is for you. This isn’t a sermon that the young need. It is a sermon that every person needs. What each one of us wants is to allow God to occupy every bit of our heart. We do not want to carve out a place and put a fence around it so that God isn’t welcome to touch that part of us. Open your heart to God’s word. Seek to allow your heart to be touched by God’s wisdom.

In our text the father speaks to his son about the seductress. He warns his son to be on his guard not to allow a woman to lead him astray sexually. While the father paints a portrait of a crafty and wily woman, the father does not ignore the son. While there is less emphasis on the heart of the son, it is the son’s heart which nonetheless is revealed in this text. So let’s start with the man’s heart.

The man is naive; he has no sense. The idea is that the man has made no commitment to wisdom. He hasn’t secured insight and good judgment which are the consequences of seeking wisdom. He has not disciplined his heart. He has pursued things other than wisdom and he now finds himself tempted by sexual urges. And because he had no firm commitment in his heart to seek wisdom and thus to honor God, he goes where he does not belong. He follows his heart. He turns his steps toward the house of the seductress. It isn’t that he doesn’t know where he is going. He chooses to go in the direction of that which will excite and tantalize.

He goes in that direction under the cover of darkness. His heart is not set on wisdom. His heart beats fast as he moves into an area where he doesn’t belong. It is the thrill. And under the cover of darkness he can see what is to be offered. With no real commitment in his heart, he is open to anything. And there are few things that excite like sexual temptation.

Men, you know this is true. We fool ourselves into thinking that it is happenstance. We come alongside sexual temptation and we can claim innocence when we give in to the temptation. Men, our hearts must be firmly committed to God. This is where it begins. What kind of heart do you want to have? What kind of person do you want to be? Do you want to be the man who is easily swayed by the sexual?

God is calling for men to seek wisdom. He calls on us to be honest about our heart. He calls on us to avoid the path of temptation. He calls us to give our heart to him—all of our heart.

The words of the father to his son also include a description of the heart of the woman who is set on being noticed sexually. She has a cunning heart. Her intent is to seduce. She wants to be noticed. She is trying to capture the heart of the man. The word for “crafty” means guarded. The intent of the author is to say that the woman is seducing the man, making him feel like he is special when she is selfishly seeking her own fulfillment. Her heart is driven by selfishness. She wants something to bring satisfaction and it may be sexual or she may use sexual means to get what she wants. But her heart is not only selfish; she plays the role of seductress well.

She dresses provocatively. This is not difficult to understand. How a woman dresses says something about her heart. The more the woman reveals the more she entices. She is aggressive. She is flirtatious. She gives the signals that she is interested in the man. But she isn’t. She is interested in herself. Her heart is selfish and she will use this man for her own feelings of approval and acceptance.

Ladies, you know this is true. Women guard the deep secrets of their heart. A woman who dresses provocatively and is flirtatious needs to think about the commitment of her heart. Ladies, your hearts must be firmly committed to God. This is where it begins. What kind of heart do you want to have? What kind of person do you want to be? Do you want to be the woman who is easily swayed by the sexual?

God is calling for women to seek wisdom. He calls on us to be honest about our heart. He calls on us to avoid the path of temptation. He calls us to give our heart to him—all of our heart.

How?

How then do we avoid sexual temptation? The writer gives us some things to think about.

First, seek wisdom. In the first five verses the father tells his son that there is nothing more important than seeking wisdom. Implanting God’s word on your heart is the idea. That means more than a Sunday morning sermon. Every day the passion must be to seek God and his will. Every day begins with giving your heart to God. Every day begins with turning your mind, your thoughts, your direction of life to God. And as sexual temptation arises, we pray for God’s direction. Even as the fast beating heart and the intrigue of flirting seem to be so entrenched we seek God’s direction. We recall the wisdom of God. The author uses the term “sister” to describe the wisdom to be obeyed. At the very least this is a close relative, but the same term is used in Song of Solomon to describe the man’s wife. In either case, the point is commitment to this above all others. Wisdom is to be obeyed. Nothing takes the place of God’s wisdom. Seek it with all your heart.

Second, be truthful about sin. The seductress says that her husband is away for a long time. The intent is that no one will catch us. No one will know. This is the lie with sexual sin. No one will know. Except for an unwanted pregnancy, this is true. No one will know. This is the lie of the Internet. No one will know. You can leave here today and give yourself to sexual sin in the privacy of your home. Let’s be absolutely clear. While men view online pornography in greater numbers than women, the number of women who are viewing online pornography is increasing. This is not a male issue. When men and women view pornography it changes the way they look at each other. Men and women treat each other as sexual objects and they lose not only their dignity but respect for the other person. If you must, get rid of the computer. Turn off the Internet. Turn off the TV.

Third, for spouses—learn to like your spouse. Sexual temptation can be reduced through affection and caring for each other. This isn’t to blame one or the other, but the lack of affection and attention can make it more challenging to say “no” to sexual temptation. For singles—learn to share your life with someone. God made us for relationship. Learn to be with a person who can share your joys and struggles. And through the wonderful relationship of friendship find ways to express care and attention.

Our hearts must be firmly committed to God. This is where it begins. What kind of heart do you want to have? What kind of person do you want to be? Do you want to be the person who is easily swayed by the sexual? God is calling for us to seek wisdom. He calls on us to be honest about our heart. He calls on us to avoid the path of temptation. He calls us to give our heart to him—all of our heart.

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