Avoidance Is Better

Introduction

Procrastination is fairly common. We even have a saying that endorses it: why do today what you can put off till tomorrow? And of course, once tomorrow becomes today, there is always tomorrow. Many of us have to work at overcoming procrastination. There are things we know we need to get done only to shelve them for a variety of reasons—it’s too hot, too much work, will take longer than we have time for, the TV is calling our name, life is too short and we want to enjoy the moment. Any excuse will do when we don’t want to deal with a problem.

That’s what procrastination is—we don’t want to deal with a problem. We would rather avoid the problem than deal with it. Sometimes we think that the problem will go away if we don’t say anything. Sometimes it does, and it happens enough for us to be convinced that it will happen again. Many times we sweep things under the rug only to discover that the rug doesn’t lie flat anymore. Avoidance is common. For the person who doesn’t have this problem, you need to tell the rest of us how to do it well. What do you tell yourself so that you deal with problems rather than avoiding them?

We will look at this lie from a mental health standpoint and then turn our attention to a spiritual view that can encourage us to stop listening to the lie and learn to be truthful.

The Lie

Avoiding problems is easy until the outcome isn’t what we want. Most of us have had the experience of avoiding a problem only to discover the avoidance brought more dire consequences than we imagined. The “Check Engine” light comes on your dash. It glows red for a couple of days, thinking we will get to it eventually. Some of you are apt to put dark tape over it so you don’t have to look at it. There’s a reason it glows red—danger. Putting it off even for a couple of days can lead to dire consequences. You see evidence of a leak in your roof, but you don’t have the money to fix it. You pray for summer and little rain, but the afternoon shower comes up and the leak gets worse and the ceiling gets more stained.

Those are simple compared to relationships. Relational problems avoided usually leads to bitterness, anger, and resentment. Human beings are so complex and life is not simple. The reality is that we avoid dealing with relational problems because we are afraid. Fear comes from the lies that Satan tells us: if you tell them the truth, they will reject you; if you talk about the problem, it will only lead to a big argument; wait a little longer and things will get better; a Christian doesn’t have problems.

All of these lies have a kernel of truth, so they become believable. None of us want to be rejected, or have a big argument, or be impatient, or have problems. And Satan adds to those lies by convincing us that avoidance is more like Jesus or demonstrates our deeper spiritual maturity. But what is really driving all of this is our fear of an outcome that we don’t want to happen. And sure enough, we talk about a problem only to have the person respond with anger and bitterness, and then Satan lies to us again that we got what we deserved. Avoidance is better, we think. What we rarely consider is the other person who is also being told Satanic lies. The mention of the problem arouses their fear, and now we have two fearful people who out of fear express anger and resentment.

It’s no wonder that we avoid problems relationally. No one likes anger and no one wants things to feel worse. So we get out the brooms and sweep, praying for things to get better, but they rarely do. Or we are so angry after a time that we don’t care if things get better. And all the while Satan is having his way with us. The Bible is filled with examples of people who avoided problems only for it to lead to worse outcomes.

Abraham, afraid that he might be killed, lied about his relationship with his wife, and as a result God had to intervene when Pharaoh took Sarah to his house to be his wife. Abraham’s avoidance was meant to preserve his life, but Pharaoh became his enemy. David avoided dealing with his sons, so Absalom kills his brother and then tries to overthrow David, bringing shame and disgrace to his household. Judas avoided dealing with Jesus and betrayed him. Jesus never avoided, but we know dealing with problems did not result in warm fuzzy relationships. That’s part of Satan’s lie—we have to have warm fuzzy relationships—and we ignore God’s truth that in a post-sin world we will always have problems that need to be dealt with.

The Text

Paul begins this section with a reflection on the goal that he pursues. Verse 12 is clearly linked to what precedes it. Notice that he writes that he has not obtained all this. What is Paul saying he hasn’t already attained? The resurrection. That seems odd. He is using the symbol of the resurrection to stand for much more. To know Christ is to know the resurrection. Nor has Paul reached perfection. He still struggles. He isn’t so spiritually mature that he no longer experiences times of temptation. He hasn’t come to know Christ fully yet. He has not received a special maturity as a follower of Christ. So what is Paul doing? He is hotly pursuing knowing Christ. This is his purpose in life—to know Christ, to know him in such a way as to know everything there is to know about him: his power, his sufferings, his death, and ultimately his resurrection. He wants to take hold of Christ because Christ has taken hold of him. He has been reached by Christ, and so he wants to reach Christ.

So Paul puts his past behind him. He doesn’t dwell on his failures or his successes. He doesn’t rest on his laurels or beat himself up for his past sins. Instead, Paul strains to move not forward but upward. His eyes are not on this world but on the world to come. He said that real life is found in Christ Jesus. This is how all who follow God should think.

Amazingly, Paul’s readers are in danger of losing sight of what is real and important. There are some who live as enemies of the cross. This is a reference to Jews who reject Christ. Notice Paul’s emotional reaction to this truth. There is no pleasure to know that some are rejecting God. There is no pleasure in thinking about his fellow Jews moving toward destruction. Their mind is on earthly things.

But not Paul and those who are trying to follow Christ. We belong to a different country. Our citizenship is heavenly, where our Savior lives, and the day will come when he will return and transform our bodies into a glorious body. This is where our motivation comes from. We understand that our purpose is found in heaven, not on this earth. We pursue Christ because we know that he is the one that matters. We want to know nothing more than Christ, and we long for the day when he will return.

What does this have to do with avoiding problems, especially relationally? Two things. First, fear drives anger. Avoiding problems has to do with our fear—fear of outcomes, fear of not being good enough, fear of more problems, fear of losing or being rejected. This is part of living in a post-sin world. We cannot go back to Eden. The pre-sin world is gone. Fallen as we each are means that fear will be a constant companion. So we grab hold of the fear and tell ourselves the truth. Fear is real, but not dealing with the problem increases anger. The outcome may not be what I want, but ignoring the problem isn’t what I want either. First John 4:18 tells us that truth—fear has to do with punishment. John speaks in terms of the last days and judgment, but the earthly reality is the same. We fear punishment and rejection, but John tells us that when we are secure in God’s love, then fear is driven out.

Second, as followers of Jesus, as those who look upward, we recognize that our citizenship is in heaven. We belong to a different country. Living where we are, these words might not be good news. The word for citizenship is used in extra-biblical sources and is translated to mean “constitution.” The constitution over these United States has been called one of the greatest political documents ever written. But it is not perfect—not in writing, nor in clarity. Our constitution is found in the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus, perfectly lived out in his life on earth, perfectly designed before the beginning of time, perfectly capturing the heart and intent of God, perfectly empowered by the resurrection. And one day perfectly fulfilled when Jesus returns and every knee shall bow and call him Lord.

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