Attitudes

Introduction

We typically complain about things when our expectations are not met. We go out to start the car and it will not start, so we get out, slam the door or pop the hood, and then we start to express our frustration verbally. Why? Did the car intend to inconvenience us? Of course not. The car is a machine and machines don’t think—yet. We are frustrated and express that frustration because we expected our car to work and it didn’t. The car failed to meet our expectations. Think about the last time you complained about something. Really think about it. What was the source of the complaint? Had something happened in such a way that your expectations were not met? Probably.

The children of Israel have left the land of bondage. The drama and success of the ten plagues soon are forgotten. With the Egyptian army in quick pursuit, the people begin to complain against God’s motives, against Moses, and against the whole idea of escape. Why? The expectation was that once they left Egypt their problems would be over. Unmet expectations are a part of life. But the truth is we don’t like them when they happen. Our complaining speaks of the desire to have things as close to perfection as possible. We just don’t like it when things do not go well. You may not agree with this assessment, but if you disagree, offer another alternative. But give thought to the complaining you do and see if the bulk of it isn’t because of unmet expectations.

So the question is then: why do we have these expectations? Wouldn’t it be easier to just figure that things aren’t going to go right all the time and that sooner or later the car will need a battery, the washing machine will quit in mid-cycle, and the house will need a new roof? Am I suggesting lowering our expectations? Not really. What I am suggesting is that we change our attitude toward those unmet expectations. And this is what I want to speak about tonight—our attitude. We really do have expectations even in reference to God.

The Importance of Attitudes

Attitude makes such an impact on our life. Someone has suggested that life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you respond to it. I don’t know if that is true, but I do know that attitudes make a difference in how we carry on with life. What is even more profound is that we get to choose our attitude. Now understand that when things happen to us that we don’t like or we didn’t expect, we have natural and normal reactions to those things. We might feel sad, frustrated, discouraged, and angered. But we don’t have to remain in those emotions and we certainly do not have to allow those emotions to set the tone for how we are going to react and act under these circumstances.

Think about what we complain about. Think about the things that we struggle with as far as attitude is concerned: the car breaks down, not enough time, the rain when we want sun and the sun when we want rain, people’s actions and reactions towards us, a ball game, delays in the doctor’s office, the cost of living, and countless others.

Now what do all of these things have in common? They are all things over which we have no control. These are things which happen to every person, to one degree or another, and not any of them can be changed by our complaining. But a positive attitude can lead to at least a lesser burden and maybe even a quicker resolve.

Philippians

So let’s look briefly at Philippians. Of all the churches Paul wrote to, this one seemed to have so much to offer. They had been regular contributors to Paul’s ministry. But they were not immune to suffering. We know from Philippians 1:27-30 that they were suffering in some way. They were being challenged in their faith and Paul wants them to remain committed to God’s will without fear of circumstances. Sounds like an emphasis on attitude.

In chapter 2, Paul even tells them to have the same attitude as Jesus had—an attitude of humility. They were to be people who did not focus on self, but instead focused on ways to serve each other. This same attitude was present in the life of Jesus. He focused on our need rather than his own comfort and prestige. Humbly, he set aside the glory of heaven and came to be among us. He refused to let his position keep him at arm’s length. What you don’t see is Jesus complaining. We find him sighing heavily, being frustrated, even angry in response to moral indignation, but we do not see him complaining.

Maybe that is the reason that on the heels of telling the Philippians to have the same attitude as Jesus, he further tells them in verse 14 not to complain. Our generation needs to hear that. No, we need to hear that. Life is not a bed of roses. But we are told not to complain. Murphy’s Law is in full effect: “If anything can go wrong it will.” But we are not to complain. This was written by a man who is in prison, whose freedom is greatly restricted, who is where he is because he has obeyed God. So Paul instructs that instead of complaining, we are to rejoice. But what will allow our attitude to be positive when the negative seems to win?

Paul ends his letter with words which we should memorize. Think on things that are positive. We can indeed capture our thoughts. We can indeed train ourselves to have better attitudes. The car is not out to get us. The roof didn’t leak to bring us tears. The doctor doesn’t have a personal vendetta against you. We can choose our attitude. Dwell on things positive. What do you feed your mind? The choice is yours.

For some of you, you need to hear these words. You are intelligent, capable, and more than competent. But your attitude is taking a toll on those around you. Your home is a battleground. Your sarcasm, negativism, pressure, cutting comments, and blame are pushing people away from you. You complain more and laugh less. Start tonight refusing to grumble and complain and to begin feeding your mind things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable. You get to choose. You can choose. And then you can join others who can sing “It is well, it is well, with my soul.”

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