A Divided Family

Introduction

Our families are under attack from so many directions. The definition of family is changing dramatically. The term “traditional family” has only come into existence in the last thirty years as a way of designating differences in family makeup. One uses that designation as a means to recognize that family structure is changing. The state of Florida announced earlier this month that its Marriage Licence will no longer include the terms “bride” and “groom.” Instead the generic word “spouse” will be used. There is also a push to change the birth certificate to no longer use “mother” and “father” designations but instead to use the labels “Parent 1” and “Parent 2.” As I said several weeks ago, the changes in our society will not change our resolve to love all people. We are going to welcome any and all to be a part of this body. But we will also continue to call for all to align their lives with the intent of God. A person who struggles with greed, sexual sin, hatred, or lying or gossip all need to repent and align their lives with God.

We live in a time in which the term “dysfunctional” is thrown around with great ease. In fact, we are told that all families are dysfunctional in some way. This is a lie. No family is perfect, but the word dysfunctional in its literal usage describes a situation which is not only abnormal but dangerously close to exploding and dissolving. All families have problems. But not all families live on the verge of dissolving. Abraham, Sarah, Hagar, Ishmael, and Isaac form a dysfunctional family. They act in abnormal ways. They break up, break down, and break apart. Sin affects our families, but even in our sin God is still able to carry out his plans.

A Celebration Ruined

Isaac is God’s blessing to Abraham and Sarah. A child promised 25 years before is finally given to them. They are excited and ecstatic. Sarah carefully and lovingly cares for Isaac. In those days the first years after birth were critical. Things like antibiotics, pediatricians, formula, and clean controlled conditions didn’t exist. A mother would breast feed her child until he was three years old or so. Then the child would begin to eat other foods. This weaning process was a cause for celebration. The child had survived those early potentially dangerous years. Such is the case in Genesis 21.

Isaac is weaned and Abraham throws a big party celebrating Isaac’s growth. It is during this party that something happens. In verse 9 the Bible says that Ishmael mocks Isaac. It is difficult to know exactly what Ishmael was doing. What we can know for sure is that when Sarah saw Ishmael’s behavior she knew that the boy had to leave. Ishmael is 17 years old or so. If we consider that Isaac is three years old when he is weaned and that Ishmael was 14 when Isaac was born, then this would put his age in the late teens. Paul in Galatians 4:29 says that Ishmael persecuted Isaac. He uses a generic word for “persecuted.” Whatever Sarah saw infuriated her. She wanted Ishmael and Hagar out of the camp. And now wasn’t soon enough. What drove her was not what she saw but what she realized about the future.

Ishmael was the firstborn son. If he stayed then Abraham was legally bound to pass on his wealth to Ishmael. This in essence left Isaac out in the cold. How long do you think Ishmael has known that his stepmother hated him? How many times has Sarah taken out her hatred on Abraham’s son? Did Ishmael know about the three visitors from four years ago? Did he somehow already know that he was not going to be accepted and appreciated for who he was? Was he mocking Isaac by reminding him that he was the firstborn and while Isaac may be the favorite, he was going to get the wealth? Is that what caused Sarah to force Ishmael and his mother from camp? Lots of questions but few answers.

Abraham is in distress. Remember back in 17:18, Abraham has already asked God if Ishmael could be the son of promise. He loves his son. He doesn’t want his son to be taken from him. He has had 17 years with him. He has envisioned Ishmael being with him for a long time. But Sarah, his wife, wants to be rid of this constant reminder of failed dreams and collapsed hopes. Ishmael is a constant reminder of when Sarah jumped all over God’s timetable. He is a constant reminder of a poor decision made in impatience. He is a constant reminder of what can happen when one puts their desires before God’s actions.

God instructs Abraham to do what Sarah wants. God intends to take care of Ishmael and will make him into a great nation. So early the next morning, Abraham puts together some provisions and sends them out into the barren wilderness. That must have been a hard day for Abraham.

God Intervenes Again

Ishmael and Hagar spend the day walking back toward Egypt. They quickly exhaust their supplies and their energy. As the sun bakes them draining them of their strength, Hagar puts Ishmael under a bush for some shade walks a small distance away and sits down waiting for death to take them both. God hears their cry for help and he sees their tears. He promises to make Ishmael into a great nation and provides water for them.

We don’t run across Ishmael much again in the Bible. From Genesis 25:5 we know that he was indeed left out of his father’s will. From Genesis 25:9 we know he was gracious enough to help Isaac bury Abraham. We know from Genesis 25:17 that he was 137 when he died and that true to God’s promise he and his descendants lived in hostility all their lives. So what are we to learn from this story.

First, the effects of sin are long lasting. When Sarah persuaded Abraham to have a child with Hagar, she never visualized what would have happened. The emotions she had, the hatred which filled her invaded the camp. Abraham seems to have adjusted to Ishmael and Hagar, but Sarah could never get over it all. And it was by her own hand. She sinned. She caused it all to happen. For so many years she couldn’t get over the negative emotions. Sometimes sin has long lasting consequences. This is what makes Abraham’s family dysfunctional. Sarah’s sin from long ago has left a rift in the family fabric. This family hasn’t blended. They stayed on opposite sides. When we determine to get our way even if it isn’t God’s way, we inevitably bring discord and disharmony to our lives and to the lives of others. ILL: Consequences.

Second, God carries out his plans. Sarah and Abraham jumped God’s timetable with Hagar. Sarah evicts Hagar from camp. God takes what sinful humans devised and still brings about his plans. Isaac still was born. Ishmael was still blessed. Sarah’s anger brought about eviction but God still worked out his plan. Our God is a master at planning. We seem to bumble and fumble with what he places in our hands, but he takes all of our mistakes, sins, and feeble efforts and still brings about his plans. Our God knows what must be done and he knows how it will be accomplished. He is able to take our mistakes and still bring about his plans. Trust him with your cares and concerns. He knows just what you need. Invitation.

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